Isaac Morris has been a leader of protests against the LGBTQ+ community with his family and church. At one protest a man comes up to him and challenges him to choose to be gay then go back to straight. He declines but, upon thinking about it and with his twin sister's nudging, he decides to make a documentary about choosing to become gay then choosing to go back to the straight lifestyle. His brother John thinks he should do to help John's son who John is afraid is going to choose the gay lifestyle. Isaac and Ruth, his twin, move to Seattle to set up the filming and the experiment. Isaac gets into trouble at a gay bar. He meets Colton there and asks Colton to help him navigate the gay lifestyle. While Colton helps him, both are attracted to each other but don't act on it. Colton has secrets in his past. Isaac has secrets in his present. Colton also invites Isaac to his gay-friendly church. Isaac goes and meets Pastor Mike, Colton's mentor and friend. Isaac hears a different interpretation of the scriptures he has used in the past to condemn the LGBTQ+ lifestyle. He stops and thinks about it. What will Isaac discover? Will the documentary come out? Will Isaac's ideas on the gay community change?

This was an intense read but so good! I liked how the scriptures are used and the different interpretations given within the book. Some good points are made. Both sides of the debate are represented.

I liked Isaac and Colton. They are good together. They move slowly into a relationship. When the documentary blows up everything, I could feel the pain of both men. I liked that Isaac decided to go ahead with the documentary. I also liked he had the support of Ruth. I liked that they also reached out to siblings who left their church and family. I liked Abby, his older sister. She had wise words for him. I was glad he listened.

I highly recommend this book. It is worth your while to read it. ( )

Warning for homophobia and homophobic language.

When I started into [b:Lead Me Not|25198518|Lead Me Not|Ann Gallagher|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1427071327s/25198518.jpg|44909852], I was hesitant. This is not the first LGBT book I have read, but it is the first Christian LGBT book I have read. And when Isaac is first introduced, his thoughts and actions are harsh and homophobic. This was the protagonist we’re supposed to cheer for? Not likely. But then, Isaac slowly began to grow on me. I realized that he was actually in the closet himself, so deep he couldn’t see his way out, couldn’t see much of anything. He was blind.

Isaac’s family and the environment he grew up in are incredibly toxic. [a:Ann Gallagher|13700639|Ann Gallagher|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/f_50x66-6a03a5c12233c941481992b82eea8d23.png] paints a masterful picture of the way these so-called Christians twist the Scriptures to condemn homosexuality. Isaac’s brother William is especially hateful, while Isaac himself sincerely just wants to help people—although he is very wrong in how he tries to do so. Isaac’s father has already disowned two of his children for not believing exactly as he does. Scenes with Isaac’s family are not easy to read.

The premise of the plot gave me pause as well. Isaac’s twin sister Ruth suggests that they make a documentary to prove that you can choose to be gay—by Isaac “choosing” to be gay, then “choosing” to be straight again. Of course, the problem is that he is not straight and never has been. And never will be.

Then Colton—a bartender at a gay club—saves Isaac from getting beaten in the alley behind the club, beaten by homophobic thugs who probably believe a lot of the same bs Isaac believes. Colton drives him to the hospital and stays with him and drives him home. That a stranger, a gay stranger, would do that for him shakes Isaac’s worldview to its core. Then Isaac finds out that Colton is a Christian and that he volunteers at a local church helping save LGBT teenagers from the streets, and his world tips on its axis again. There is a crack in his closet door, letting in just a bit of light.

It’s not easy of course. While Isaac “lives the gay lifestyle” for the documentary, telling everyone around him that he is gay, he still very much believes that he is not. The closet door might be ajar, but he is still huddled inside, trying to hide from the light. This changes slowly, but he fights it every step of the way.

Despite the harsh language and rhetoric, this really is a very uplifting book. Isaac’s family is shown clearly to be wrong. There is no insistence on forgiving someone like that either. Sometimes the best thing to do is to put distance between yourself and that toxic relationship. I’m used to romance novels being rather shallow in theme and content, but this one surprised me. I would highly recommend it, and I will likely read it again. ( )