Ilona Bannister

When I Ran Away is such a fantastic read with so many strong themes of motherhood and grief. It's an extremely astute debut from Ilona Bannister.

When I was thinking about writing this review I was wondering how on earth to explain the story. It's a sweeping story covering a period of 20 years and there's so much to it, beginning with the loss of Gigi's brother, Frankie, on 9/11. That loss echoes down through Gigi's life but I think the overarching theme is the one of motherhood and all that comes with it. I found myself nodding along all the time, remembering what it's like with a newborn, that feeling like you're getting everything wrong.

Bannister perfectly portrays American Gigi living in middle class England. So many things don't make sense to her, not least the class system which leaves her feeling like an outsider looking in, the other mums from the baby group who seem to have it all together when Gigi doesn't, her husband, Harry, who just doesn't seem to get how she's feeling, and her work colleagues who all seem to manage their career and a family whilst still apparently rising to the top and keeping all the plates spinning. Meanwhile, Gigi is wearing the same old clothes she was wearing before she gave birth, can hardly bear to pick her baby up, and sticking a ready meal in the oven requires more effort than she can muster up. In short, you could liken it to being hit by a truck.

The narrative in When I Ran Away is real, it's raw, it's searing in its honesty. I felt visceral, tangible anger on Gigi's behalf. I wanted to shake some of the other characters. If you read this book I guarantee the word 'apron' will stay with you. It's the little things that often do, especially for a new mother.

I didn't quite know what to expect when I embarked upon reading this book. What I got was a perceptive and intelligent story of a woman breaking down. There are moments of humour so don't think it's all weeping and wailing, but ultimately it's a story that is full of depth and meaning. A fantastic portrayal of what it means to be a woman and a mother.… (mais)