Vernon Coleman

This is another diary by the indomitable Dr Coleman.

The book was published in 2014 so I assume it’s his diary from 2013.

Vernon tells us about everything that happens to him and his beloved Princess, his wife, Antoinette. He also gives us at length his views on doctors, hospitals and everything else.

He writes about the ridiculous requirements of the current authorities. He keeps going on about the HMRC (at first I couldn’t for the life of me find out what this was, but eventually I discovered that it was Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs) and tells us that it is now entitled to demand that he produces all his bank statements and receipts for the last 6o years!

He states that all the people who keep writing to him to tell him what to do or not do should just “bugger off and leave me alone”, I trust that Amazon will not ban my review for these words, or indeed for the title of the book, which I can’t do anything about.

We’re told of the terrible state of British hospitals.

No other country in the world has waiting lists for patients with cancer. (I’m not sure that this is quite accurate, since I think that Denmark might have too.) No other country in the world gives priority to women wanting breast enhancement surgery over women needing treatment for breast cancer. No other country in the world forces male and female patients to share a ward.

Survival rates for almost all common cancers are worse in Britain than just about anywhere else in Europe.

People say the NHS is wonderful. It isn’t wonderful. “It is a deadly, murderous organization which should be put to sleep - permanently” Dr Coleman doesn’t mince words.

Doctors are now pushing for everyone over the age of 50 to take cholesterol-lowering drugs every day. “How long before taking the drugs becomes compulsory?”

The side effects from these pills are horrendous. They include diabetes, cataracts and memory disturbances.

Doctors are given bonuses for identifying patients with a number of specific diseases, and also for vaccinating enough of their patients (despite evidence suggesting that vaccination is dangerous and ineffective.)

Instead of doctors writing out prescriptions, Vernon sensibly suggests that they sit people down and explain that heart disease and other killer diseases are often caused by eating the wrong sort of foods and by being obese.

Vernon and his wife regularly spend some time in Paris so we learn about how things are done there.

In Paris the elderly are not sent off to nursing homes “at the first sign of maturity”; instead they remain in their apartments and continue to look after themselves. The daily walk to the shops is an important part of their lives. They look after their appearance too.

It is Vernon’s view that it is this independence that keeps the elderly fit in mind and body. People that live in British nursing-homes get up, have breakfast that has been preopared for them, and then slump into an armchair where they spend the day staring at “a dozen other sorry souls sitting in armchairs”. And so on.

Japan has eight million people over the age of 80 and nursing and rest home beds for just 300,000 people. The remainder must live at home. The modern Japanese don’t seem to like old people very much (like the Britons), Single Japanese girls are now renting boyfriends to take home to show their Mums, so the latter don’t think they have been left on the shelf. The average rental fee for a boyfriend is 300 yen a day. Most will hold hands and hug without any extra chrge but there is a charge of 30 yen for talking to old people. Vernon has now decided that he will charge 300 yen to speak to anyone from Japan or to attempt any sort of conversation with anyone under the age of 25.

He talked to a local man who wandered about with a placard that generally announced the end of the world last December 31st, but now says it won’t be until in 5 years’ time. He said that the delay was a result of his prayers and shook a tin at Vernon for a contribution, which he was pleased to give since “all eccentrics need to be encouraged before the EU has them all locked up”.

He tells us that in the last year 98 British publishers have gone bust and states that the cause is e-books.

V doesn’t like e-books but decides his books need to be converted to them anyway and an octogenarian friend of Antoinette’s helps him to do so, so now his e-books are beginning to appear on Amazon.

We’re told that a fifth of the population are psychopaths so if you know 5 people one will be a psychopath.

“Psychopaths are exceptionally selfish, constant liars, manipulative, callous, grandiose and parasitic. They bully, they are never anxious, and they are invariably likeable. They seem strong, calm and confident and they never show remorse.”

V tells us most of Britain’s ministers and company directors are psychopaths. They get to the top because they don’t care about people in the way that sensitive people care.

This could well be true, but personally I don’t know any psychopaths at present.

V is afflicted with “athletes’ foot fungus” but Antoinette finds a good treatment for it, an ultraviolet light device. It works.

Here in my town there’s a shoe shop called “The athlete’s foot”; I fail to understand why anyone would call a shop by the name of a disease.

This is another amusing diary; V discusses this and that and expresses firm views about everything that crosses his mind. Highly recommended.… (mais)