Dori Ostermiller

The story of a woman whose family was torn apart by infidelity as a child and grows up to see how easy it is to escape into an affair.

This book made me so sad. The bleak look at married life and how people drift apart is just horrifying. Maybe truthful? I am divorced and it is kind of how I look at most marriages. Spending a lifetime together can become humdrum as people get wrapped up in their own projects and take each other for granted. Beautifully written, but very bleak.

Also, a complete aside, the book never really dealt with the other daughter's take on their mother's affair and how it affected her (and it very obviously did). That bothered me. I felt like I missed part of the story.… (mais)

Told in chapters that alternate between Sylvia the adult and Sylvia the child, Ostermiller has crafted a novel that twice demonstrates the impact of infidelity. Sylvia and her older sister, Ali, live with a father who is often distant and cruel, and a weak mother with a long-term "boyfriend" who is part of the fabric of their lives. As an adult, Sylvia repeats what she learned as a child and pursues an intimate relationship at the expense of her own marriage and children. While Sylvia's mother chose to make her daughters complicit in her illicit relationship, Sylvia harbors a secret. This is a book that underscores the reality that there are immediate and far-reaching consequences that result from how we choose to live our lives.… (mais)

I was intrigued by the description of this book, but was also worried-- I often react badly to books about infidelity.In this case, I really could identify with where Sylvia is in her life. I even started reading the book on my 42nd birthday, and the modern day sections start on Sylvia's 42nd birthday. Sure, the details are different-- I'm not an artist, and there isn't any other guy to even potentially bring this sort of temptation into my life.Sylvia is having a lot of trouble figuring out who she is. She was an artist, but that isn't really working for her right now. Her role as mom isn't feeling fulfilling, and wife isn't going so well either-- she and her husband aren't really communicating about their immediate schedules and the plans for the house they've been renovating for years, let alone the hopes and dreams that brought them together in the first place.When she meets someone that appreciates her as an artist, as a person, and as a woman, the temptation is overwhelming. However, she knows all to well what a toll parental infidelity can take on a family.I appreciated the insight she had into her actions, even while she denied and failed to apply what she knew. The books jumps between Sylvia's present and past, as she deals with her own temptations and we see the effects that her parent's bad marriage and her mother's affair had on her life. She often refuses to see the parallels, but we do. It increased my frustration with her, but also increased my sympathy as well.… (mais)