Chanel Reynolds

You may not believe me, but I actually bought this book about a year and a half ago and now, when I really do need to get my shit together, it floated up to the top of my "to read" pile! I started following Chanel Reynolds' website and got on her email list about six years ago and was inspired to take some very baby steps at bringing together my personal / account information for Josh and downloading some fill-in-the-blank Texas will forms from the library. After a few years of not ever starting those will forms, we ended up paying a very nice lawyer to help us draft up our wills, advanced care directives, and medical power of attorney documents and OH MY GOD I'm so glad we did. Having to think about my will and advanced care directives while facing a stage IV cancer diagnosis would have been a much different thing than taking care of these when nothing more dire than just regular life was staring us down.

About the time we were getting our wills together, Reynolds announced that a book version of her story and shit-getting-together-advice was going to be published. I pre-ordered a copy right away.

In 2009 Reynolds got a call that her husband was in a bike accident and was hurt badly. He never came out of his coma, and she had to make the decision to take him off life support a week later and was left to take care of their young son with a huge mortgage, no savings, and a will that they had drawn up but never had signed or notarized. Over the coming years she retrospectively got shit together and then made a plan for the future, and then made her website to share the checklists and resources she gathered along the way.

This book has those checklists and resources covering legal documents, financial issues, insurance, grief, what the heck to do logistically when someone you love dies, and other important topics, but it is also, movingly, a deeply personal memoir of her experience with her husband's death and the aftermath. Reynolds is an engaging and funny reader who doesn't pull punches with her grief, her mis-steps, and her lack of cut and dry answers.

I may have a diagnosis that is making me think of these things more strongly than others, but EVERYONE should take some steps to get their affairs in order and make plans for the big "what if's" in life. This book is a great place to start, as is the website (https://getyourshittogether.org/ -- especially the checklist and recommends sections)

[Finally: No matter what, you should absolutely get a will drawn up -- especially if you have kids, aren't married to your partner, or have special wishes or needs, but, honestly, even if you are a single person without much stuff. Download those forms from the library and actually fill them out (or pay a lawyer some money to get yourself to actually do it like I did). We can all go at any time and this is a not-that-hard thing you can do to make it a little easier for your friends and family.]… (mais)