Juli Slattery

The authors indicate that this book is for single and married women alike. As I am single, I decided to read it and really wanted to like it. The book is informative, and I felt the authors adequately made a case for why women shouldn't read erotica, view porn, etc.

However, I felt the book was lacking in a practical conclusion. As a Christian, I'm already fully aware of things I shouldn't be doing - what I want are practical, biblical examples of what I should do. Throughout the book, the authors state that women can be sexy and spiritual. They express their frustration with Christian singles being told that they have to repress their sexuality, and state that this mindset often follows a person into marriage, negatively affecting their sex life. I understand all of that, and agree to an extent.

However, the "practical" content consists of one (very short) appendix titled, "What Do I Do with My Struggle?". One suggestion for singles is "If... the longing for physical touch is a trigger, schedule a regular massage." This is the closest they get to addressing the sexual longings of single women. And frankly, as a single woman myself, I don't believe getting a massage regularly is going to somehow help me overcome temptations to sin sexually. The other suggestions have nothing to do with sex, and include hosting dinner parties and learning new things, like tennis or oil painting. Really? I got the distinct impression that married women can be sexy and spiritual, but single women can only be spiritual, as all the "outlets" that truly involved being sexy were for married women. So then how could a single truly avoid sexual temptation without repressing their sexuality, at least to an extent? Ultimately, God created sex for the confines of marriage, and so if a person isn't married, that leaves sex out of the equation.

I did give it two stars because as I indicated earlier, I thought their argument on why not to read erotica was well-stated.

Edit 10/16/14 - This article offers a great Christian perspective on sex and singleness: www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/sex-and-the-single-woman

Edit 2/10/16 - [b:Singled Out: Why Celibacy Must Be Reinvented in Today's Church|5460016|Singled Out Why Celibacy Must Be Reinvented in Today's Church|Christine A. Colón|https://d.gr-assets.com/books/1347719486s/5460016.jpg|5527604] is a much better book for singles and does a better job of explaining how it's possible to embrace your sexuality without committing sexual acts.

I received this book free through Goodreads First Reads.… (mais)

25 Questions You're Afraid to Ask About Love, Sex and Intimacy / by Dr. Juli Slattery -- Chicago : Moody Publishers, c2015. (224 pages) -- RANGE 9 -- MATURE YOUNG ADULTS

SUMMARY: Whether you are married or single, having great sex or no sex, your sexuality is inseparable from your spirituality. Sadly, most churches are silent on the subject.

REVIEW: What a blessing this read/study was. This title was selected as a supplemental title to be used for a Bible study using CAPTIVATING by John and Stasi Eldredge as the primary title. The study group was a mixture of women from college age singles and not dating, single mothers, middle age married, single and divorce as well as older married women. Whatever the age or the relationship experience, it was hard to get the participants to discuss this book (I'm hoping they all read it). It is my opinion that everyone felt embarrassed of the subject matter, felt incompetent to discuss the topic, and was unwilling to share their experiences. In the end, we did have a few good discussions but they were rushed at the end of our time.

I kept the book and read it again in more depth and shared it with my new husband as we were trying to figure things out. I wish I had been introduced to some of these topics earlier in my life as I worked my way through several relationships. I marked this for mature young adults but in this world where kids are experiencing with sex, it might be appropriate to talk some of the topics over with a younger population. However, whatever is done it would be good to discuss the topics with someone you trust.

Dr. Slattery answers the questions based on what the Bible says about each topic in an easy to understand format. She also has a website that continues to educate Christian women www.authenticintimacy.com

CONTENT:
Question 1: What's the big deal about sex?
Question 2: Who are you to judge my sexual choices?
Question 3: Can I be single and sexual?
Question 4: Is it wrong to like sex?
Question 5: And I waited for this?
Question 6: Why do guys care so much about sex?
Question 7: What if I want sex more than my husband does?
Question 8: How adventurous can we be in bed?
Question 9: Is ________ okay in the bedroom? (You fill in the blank!)
Question 10: What do my temptations say about me?
Question 11: How do I get past my shame?
Question 12: How do I know he is the one?
Question 13: How far is too far?
Question 14: Is living together a good test run for marriage?
Question 15: What if I'm attracted to someone else?
Question 16: How can I compete with porn?
Question 17: What's wrong with mommy porn?
Question 18: Is masturbation a sin?
Question 19: Can I be godly and gay?
Question 20: How do I rebuild trust after a betrayal?
Question 21: Does forgiveness mean I'll be hurt again?
Question 22: What if I don't like sex?
Question 23: How do I make time to make love?
Question 24: How do we fight without hurting each other?
Question 25: Why wouldn't God want me to be happy?

Because Christians often don't talk or teach about sex, women are confused about what to do with their sexuality. (p14)

We all have thoughts and beliefs about sex that are not based on truth. (p14)

God is loving when He says "no" to something, it is ultimately for our benefit. (p21)

...sharing biblical truth is NOT the same as judging. (p22)

Instead of admitting our sin, we rationalize it. Such hypocrisy will always water down the impact of God's truth, but it doesn't change the truth itself. (p25-26)

The rewards of a godly life may not be Prince Charming waiting in the wings or happily ever after in your marriage. Sometimes God brings those gifts, but He never promised them. (p214)… (mais)