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Shared Books

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Jun 5, 2007, 4:50 pm

Sure. I'm gonna make it brief, though, 'cause, well, I should be working.

The Ethical Slut = arguably THE handbook for open relationships, polyamory, non-monogamy and other forms of ethical sleeping around. I'd recommend the chapter on jealousy to monogamous couples. Dossie Easton and Catherine Liszt (Janet Hardy writing under a pen name) are great writers, period.

The New Topping Book = Introductory book to topping/dominance in BDSM. Mainly mindset/theory and instruction on the mental aspects. No "how-tos" for physical acts. Written by the same authors as The Ethical Slut, so it's written well.

All of the Toybag Guides = "how-to"s for the BDSM acts listed. Concise and knowledgeable and physically small enough to fit inside a toybag easily. The Toybag Guide to High-Tech Toys talks about stuff like electrical play with a TENS unit or a violet wand. Medical Play and Hot Wax are pretty much as they seem.

I have to point out The Toybag Guide to Foot and Shoe Worship though. Midori is such an AMAZING writer. This one is easily the best in the series (and I own them all). She makes the guide relevant to people in all walks of BDSM/Leather/kink/fetish, not just the ones with a foot fetish. She has information for masochists, sadists, foot fetishists, submissives and dominants and just someone who's curious about feet or shoes. (She also addresses "what do you do with a dominant who's also a foot masochist?" and stuff like that.) One of the best books on kink I've ever read, hands down.

The other books, well, I don't own them. I hope this helps!

3ragingamazon Primeira Mensagem
Set 3, 2007, 4:23 am

Radical Ecstasy deals with an interesting cross-section of kink and tantra. Dossie Easton is an amazing writer and speaks to emotional aspects of BDSM often left out of conversations about physical technique. However, I'm not personally into tantra so I found this book with its references to pagan ceremony and eastern ideas of energy flow a little too out there for me.

Maio 1, 2008, 12:17 pm

I disagree with The Ethical Slut being "THE handbook for ... polyamory". It's good for sexual relationships, doesn't discuss much about poly, though.

We are currently reviewing and about to discuss that book in our polyamory book club, if you're interested:

Maio 1, 2009, 1:34 pm

I am surprised Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns is not on here. I think it is a standard work.

Radical Ecstasy is wonderful.

Maio 1, 2009, 4:56 pm

I liked SM 101 a lot better than Screw the Roses. It was a lot more in depth, I thought.

Maio 1, 2009, 6:31 pm

hmmm. I will check that one out.

Editado: Maio 1, 2009, 7:08 pm

Screw the Roses is a better book for people who want to learn more about What It Is That We Do without learning enough to necessarily do it themselves at any level above fuzzy handcuffs and feather ticklers.

Jay Wiseman takes a very academic approach in SM 101 because that's just the kind of guy he is, so be prepared for a thinky read, but you'll walk away with enough information to actually negotiate - and carry out - a scene with a new partner without making an ass of yourself. But don't hold me to that; some people are more adept at making asses of themselves than at reading and absorbing how-to guides ;)

Maio 4, 2009, 3:31 pm

I am not a guide type guy, at least when it comes to interactions. Now, a good book on knots.....

Maio 4, 2009, 3:33 pm

9>Now, a good book on knots.....

Ooo! Any recommendations?

Maio 4, 2009, 3:48 pm

Two Knotty Boys Showing You the Ropes is great for entry-level, beautiful rope work. It's not traditional shibari; for that, I've not used Midori's Erotic Rope Bondage, but have heard it's a great resource.

Maio 4, 2009, 4:01 pm

Thanks for the input. I've seen Two Knotty Boys somewhere before (not in person, unfortunately), but this is the first I've heard of this particular book by Midori--it looks beautiful.

Maio 4, 2009, 8:43 pm

actually it is nice to start with a good knotty handbook, non-specific to anything. I know a host of climbing knots, which can come in handy at

Maio 9, 2009, 9:31 pm

Two Knotty Boys have a new book out - there are also a range of videos avaialable on line that demonstrate their techniques.

Midori's book is excellent as is Lee Harrington's Shibari You Can Use: Japanese Rope Bondage and Erotic Macramé.

The Ethical Slut is accessible and eminently readable but I wouldn't say it gets very deeply into the issues of Polyamory. Funnily enough, I found it a little dated - there has been a recent re-release of this and as I haven't seen this edition I cannot comment on whether it is more up to date.