Orthodox Jew Wraps Himself in Plastic Bag on Flight to Avoid Offending his Ancestors

Saw this on Facebook (thank you Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian) and giggled so much I had to share.

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/articles/456441/20130412/plane-passenger-plastic-bag-or...

Enjoy!

I wish I'd thought of that when I was in 2nd grade and didn't want to get cooties.

"Life-size"??

And yet nobody's allowed to call him a nut, because oh, it's his religion.

But wait! How did he keep from suffocating?

And if there are air-holes in the bag, how did he keep the cooties or ghosties or whatever from sneaking in through them?

Oh, he's definitely a nut. But let's play along for a moment. I think these guys are still in trouble. The spiritual corpse pollution gets into the cabin as the plane flies over a graveyard. The plastic keeps them safe during the flight. But can all of the polluted air really be flushed out of the cabin by the time they take off the plastic after landing? How can they bear to take the risk?

How did he get the knot at the top of the bag with his hands inside it?

It's possible to tie and untie a knot under those conditions, although it's not (no pun intended) easy.
Also, someone else (a flight attendant, perhaps) could have done it for him.

I wonder if planes ever get caught in holding patterns over a series of those cemeteries...

Well, there's someone wearing a yarmulke sitting right next to him. It's not so hard to imagine that he might have had help.

Rabbi Yosef Shalom Eliashiv, leader of the Lithuanian Haredi community in Israel, recently revealed he had "found a solution to this issue, ruling that wrapping oneself in thick plastic bags while the plane crossed over the cemetery is permissible", Haaretz newspaper reported.

You'd think it would be simpler to just do whatever ritual handwashing the religion calls for after passing over the cemetary.

There's a fine line between extreme religious ideas and mental illness. This one crosses that line. He doesn't need a bag, he needs therapy.

I don't know--Abraham (also not mental) was ready to kill his own son because the Lord said so. The poor sap in the plastic bag seems comparatively less harmless, and yet Abraham's the spiritual daddy to how many human beings?

Maybe not being mad is mad.

I see that one is allowed to visit a cemetery for the funeral of a close relative. So all that is needed is to assassinate a close relative and ensure that the funeral is in progress as you fly over.

@ #12: That line is nigh invisible.

#13: Perhaps not mental, but certainly mentally deficient. Anyone else with at least two digits of IQ to rub together would have answered, "You want me to do what? Are you sure you're really God?"

"You want me to do what?"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bputeFGXEjA

"Another winner, Lord!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vDfoJ29CR4E

13, 18,

I really don't think I'd ever gut my kid, either:

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=chritopher+hitchins+abraham

I kind of like the lengths the orthodox jewish community goes to to keep the letter of the law. It's not for me, but it's a form of spirituality I can respect -- the physical commitment to uphold it, together with the mental commitment to find ways to do that without harming anyone.

It reminds me of a (probably apocryphal) story of one of the Oxford colleges, which had a strict rule against dogs on the premises. Of course the rule was too entrenched in tradition to ever be changed, but at some point there was an addendum: "Any animal leading a blind person shall be deemed to be a cat."

Hey, and it's not just "the Tribe":

http://listverse.com/2007/09/12/top-10-bizarre-aspects-of-catholicism/

So.. .. Let me see if I've got this right:

The nut in the bag thinks his ancestors will be upset if he sits too near a woman? Is it just possible his ancestor somehow got closer than that to a woman?

Anyway, if it is that important to him, shouldn't he have walked rather than flown?

This is fascinating. I did not believe it was possible to tie a knot from the inside of the bag.

I could see it would be dangerous for a non-religious person (ie; without god on one's side) to attempt it with a plastic bag so I have tried it with a duvet cover instead. (Sensible precaution)

It IS possible.

After some time I managed to get the knot securely tied.

Unfortunately, it is proving very difficult to untie the knot from the inside. I am sending this post from my smartphone which was luckily in my pocket.

I would appreciate some urgent assistance from anyone who knows me and is not afraid of upsetting my ancestors.

>25 Novak:
Assuming your ancestors didn't pay for the smartphone, you could always try breaking the glass and using the splinters to cut your way out.

Not strange in the name of religious tradition.

Hijab and niqab are examples of apparels used by a certain sect of Islam.This have caused much controversies about office dressing at work places in Europe and maybe in some public places,like working in public hospitals/clinics where wearing headscarf or tudung(Malay) may posed some unhealthy conditions to others.

www.news.bbc.co.

Search:(3 different searches for information)

!.Hijab

2.Niqab

3.Tudung

No, not strange at all for religion tradition, but then what could be when it is all so strange?

>24 spartan: >25 Novak: >26 thorold:

Dark!.. .. .. Cold!.. .. .. Hungry.. .. ..

>rathad

and it's a wacky world filled with strange,eccentric customs and traditions.

Strange, it may be if I have witnessed before for the first time, but no longer strange to see women mostly if I am in Middle East's regions such as Saudi Arabia wearing burka or hijab or niqab. To them, it is a conformity.

>29 Novak:
Order pizza!

I'm mildly disappointed he did not do it with these automatic luggage plastic film wrappers they overcharge for at airports. It would be a better story.

A few weeks ago I took a plane with a colleague that was annoying so I told him I ought to wrap him with one of those and dump him in the hold.

You have to excuse him for his eccentric religious practice.

How is the rate of cargo charged by airline travel companies. I supposed it is much cheaper than a living passenger? He should had travelled the cheapest way.

>31 thorold: Order pizza!

Tried that, they say they're a bit tied up at the moment.

I knew Novak was making a joke.

Likewise by me as a joke.

>31 thorold: >35 spartan: Order pizza!

Not one of your bestest ideas.

After a long muffled conversation through the letterbox with Pizza-Prince he pulled the knot through, doubled it in size so I could not move at all. Then he called the police. He told them “there is a man in a Burqa, acting suspiciously."

They came, got me out and arrested me. For some reason they would not consider introducing anything sharp.

At the police station they are giving me long sideways glances and asking awkward questions, like, “How often do you do this?” and “Does it have to be a dark “Hello Kitty” duvet cover?”

“It's just something I saw on-line, Officer, you see.. .. .. .. “

“No, I do NOT see. And I do not want to see, I am not interested in what you people get up to on the internet.”

“But.. .. but.. . you see, it's very interesting, with the Jews.. .. ..”

“Oh! Here we go, blame the Jews.”

In case all the folk posting on this thread don't already know it, right now you can get some really great deals on flights to Sierre Leone and Liberia. The Jewish gentlemen featured in the photo at the top of the IBT article linked in this thread's OP are clearly just two of the many millions of savvy travelers that have saved themselves a bundle by purchasing their fall vacation air tickets using the FareCompare website ... http://www.farecompare.com/flights/Tel_Aviv-TLV/Freetown-FNA/market.html.

It appears to me that the Hasidic Jewish gentleman in the plastic bag also did some Googling around on the internet before embarking on his promotional fall getaway vacation trip with his friend and discovered that there is currently an Ebola epidemic raging in the part of west Africa to which they were traveling. There are currently a whole slew of web blogs and articles (such as this one) offering advice to vacationers and businessmen on how best to avoid catching Ebola on their travels. It's my guess that having Googled one of these sites this gentleman decided to follow its helpful advice on how best to reduce his own chances of contracting Ebola during his October vacation in Sierre Leone. Anyone who has spent any time reading the advice proffered by these web articles will know that the #1 tip listed to protect against catching Ebola is: Make sure everywhere you go outside of your home you are hermetically sealed inside a plastic bag.

Consequently, the Orthodox Jewish gentleman's decision to travel to his vacation destination in a giant Ziploc bag is merely the result of his dutifully following WHO recommended health precautions relating to infection control and has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with his own strong fundamental religious beliefs, and all of you that have used this thread as an excuse to simply post your own sarcastic and negative comments about other people's "wacky", "strange", "eccentric" and " mentally deficient" religious beliefs should be thoroughly ashamed of yourselves.

Innovation of protective wear against Ebola.

Great Idea! Thanks to a Jewish gentleman.

At last, the reason of wrapping oneself in Ziplock is revealed.

There will be a sudden great demand for this body bag to be used in air travels to Western Africa.

Model:TCP-1B-CF

www.usabodybags.com/wholesale-body-bags/tcp-1b-protector-body-bag

Note: You need to modify the bag for the supply of oxygen with a portable oxygen tank.Is the bag safe for use by a living person?

(Caution: Just For Laughs! No offence).

P.S.

>Rule42

Your written profile is very impressive.

>39 Rule42: A fortuitous post.

Can I ask you if your knowledge of the WHO extends to obtaining a supply of
the giant Ziploc bags? I could use a supply as a matter of some urgency.

Such a coincidence that you should mention Sierra Leone and Liberia, the gentlemen sharing my cell (and the one next door) all appear to originate from those two countries. None of them look very healthy and they are all sharing the same lipstick.

Do you consider the little round hat the sensible, cautious, gentleman in the original photo is wearing would also prove beneficial in my predicament?

> Novak

Are you joking or serious about your request for the supply of the giant Ziploc bags from WHO?

You are just kidding around.

>25 Novak: >29 Novak: >31 thorold: >38 Novak:

Dear Houdini in Reverse,

Perhaps if you had possessed a comforter like this one, in preference to your own dark and perverted “Hello Kitty” variety, you might have satisfied your hunger for pizza by simply munching on your duvet, thereby avoiding any need to stick your head through your own letterbox.

Plain to see it's now hopeless
Since all he touches ties in knots
Orders pizza to stay focused
Trapped in a duvet where he squats

Didn't believe it could be done
Acts like a spy of whom he's fond
Regrets began soon as he'd begun
The tie did bind but he's no Bond

He's Houdini with a curse
He's Houdini in Reverse
He's Houdini with a curse
He's Houdini in Reverse

Prays for someone to free his fanny
Help him regain his self control
No longer thinks he's Richard Hannay
Hopes pizza boy will save his soul

Prince's lad pulls at knot now tested
Muffled words through a letterbox
Freed by police but then arrested
'Cos all he touches ties in knots

He's Houdini with a curse
He's Houdini in Reverse
He's Houdini with a curse
He's Houdini in Reverse

( Edited to add a new stanza and modify some of the others. )

>43 Rule42:
That doesn't look like a kosher pizza.

Hmmm ... all this talk about disease and WHO has set me to reflect on the strange fact that an actor listed in the cast of World War Z as "W.H.O. Doctor" ended up being the new Doctor Who. I'm still having problems wrapping my head around that particular "coincidence"!

>41 Novak: "A fortuitous post."

Actually, if you're counting, it was a thirty-ninthious post! It was razzamajazz's post that was fortuitous.

Which brings me to another issue. Someone really needs to tell Mr. razzamajazz that the first posting rights to the fortytuitous post on any LT thread belongs to me. It's all there in B&W in the LT TOS he agreed to.

>41 Novak: "Can I ask you if your knowledge of the WHO extends to obtaining a supply of the giant Ziploc bags?"

I'm afraid my knowledge of the WHO only extends as far as the soothing on-hold music that used to be played by the RD "1-800 number" customer service folks. Sowwy about that.

>44 thorold: "That doesn't look like a kosher pizza."

Ahhhh, but in life things are frequently never as they appear to be at first glance. Do you have any actual proof that is KNOT NOT a kosher pizza duvet? No, I didn't think so.

And just to prove my point about appearances being deceptive, there is quite a bit more to the two Jews flying on vacation story. Not only did they save a whole bunch on the vacation travel package deal they received from the FareCompare website, but they saved even more on their trip to Sierre Leone due to the fact that, since they were travelling on very short notice (these Ebola getaway vacation package deals are now so popular you simply have to grab them when you first see them!), the airline they chose to fly with was unable to meet their pre-requested special kosher in-flight meal requirements. That meant they were consequently permitted to bring their own pre-packaged kosher meals on board with them so that they wouldn't be forced to fast (or alternatively break their strict Hasidic dietary requirements) when the regular in-flight meals were served to all the other passengers.

Once they realized they were allowed special dispensation to bring their own kosher in-flight meals with them they decided they could save a further chunk of change on the combined cost of their vacation travel (a further 50% to be exact) if one of them was willing to travel wearing a large Ziploc sandwich bag. Because, that way, they could get a full refund on one of their roundtrip air tickets, since the person in the plastic Ziploc baggie would qualify as the specially permitted pre-packed kosher lunch of his companion traveller.

The airline they flew with had the same problem you just had ... they couldn't prove his friend in the giant sandwich bag wasn't kosher, so they reluctantly had to comply with this arrangement.

>46 BTRIPP: "I'm still having problems wrapping my head around that particular 'coincidence'!"

Such "coincidences" are not as unusual as one might at first think they would be. I seem to remember the real Dr. Who playing the part of Richard Hannay in a remake of Alfred Hitchcock's 1935 classic movie The Thirty-Nine Steps! Or maybe I just dreamt that?

Midnight.

I'm sooo disapointed that no-one offered to help me, but I DO hope you are all having a lovely time on the outside.

I am a little unsettled by the nine men from Sierra Leon I am sharing this cell with. The others in the cell next door are just a noisy. The tall one in the tutu who speaks a little English says they were on a day trip to Bradford for a gay march when they were all arrested.

The day trip was in 2009. They were arrested last Sunday.

They claim they are not “illegals” because they have a passport they share between them. I said it sounds fair enough to me. They asked if I knew anyone interested in helping claim a $4.500,000,000 inheritance one of them is trying to claim back home. All they need is $400 to get a lawyer. I gave them your name Rule 42. It sounds right up your street.

I want to go home now and get away from all these transvestites gentlemen. I don't know when my case comes up and I am worried about my cat.

You mean your cat hasn't posted bail yet? Oh, dear...what did he do with the collection we all made on your behalf?

*** I've, erm, er, not heard from Novak for a while. Anyone, er, heard anything?***

***Novak's Cat***

>53 Marissa_Doyle: (Please don't get his hopes up)

>50 white-van-man: "... you can change your nom de internet to Rule 52 (You must be getting older.)"

Indeed I am getting older. How on earth did you manage to deduce that given that you know so little about me? I have to say, I'm very impressed, Mr. Holmes!

However, despite your wonderful deductive powers, the '42' in my LT handle doesn't refer to my age. It's the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything. Unfortunately, I'm now so old I can no longer remember what the Ultimate Question was or who asked it and when. Nor do I care anymore.

And no, that wasn't me in the plastic bag on the plane. I just overheard them arguing with the flight attendants. Besides, it would be impossible for me to be the man in that bag because I'm not kosher - and if you don't believe me, just ask anyone else on LT that knows me. LMAO.

As for your threat re eating your hat, if your hat looks anything like this then that might not be such a bad thing for you to do. A hat like that might also have been a good solution to Novak's predicament that I addressed earlier in post #43. I've been reliably informed that Pizza Hat now delivers. Unfortunately, I'm not certain about what the special Hasidic name is for such a hat. It could be yarmulke ... I'm just not sure. That would be a question better asked of my brother, Yule42. Because he's Jewish; while I'm RC. It's a long story; please don't ask, because it always upsets my mother. I think he also has an LT account, but I'm not positive about that. Hey, I'm not my brother's kippah, OK?

Finally, to everyone else reading this post, I would like to apologize for white-van-man's rather unconventional comments in the remainder of his previous post, but things haven't been too easy for him recently. Trouble at home, rather confidential, so I can't give you all the details ... interesting though they are ... three bottles of rum with his Weetabix, and so on ... apparently the girl wasn't even ... it's the mother I feel sorry for. Anyway, it can't be helped, they're all from broken homes, circus families, and so on. I just wanted to make it very clear here that white-van-man's opinions are in no way representative of any other members of LT. He's just part of a small vociferous minority.

I would also like to take this opportunity of emphasizing here that there is no cannibalism aboard modern day Israeli airlines. Absolutely none. And when I say none, I mean there is a certain amount, and more than they are prepared to admit. But all new El Al employees and passengers are specifically warned that if they wake up in the morning and find any toothmarks at all anywhere on their bodies, they're to report it straight away to someone with very high authority in the airline so that he can immediately take every measure possible to hush the whole thing up. And, of course, necrophilia is right out!

> Rule42

You have the potential to be an outstanding stand-up or sit-down or whatever-position comedian.

Have you consider some due considerations to your hidden talents for a full-time comedian's stint at any famous cocktail bar? Give it a serious thought.

Keep coming with your posts, there is something new going on this thread.

Sarcastic posts ? Not really. Any protests!

You have flavoured your posts with "clean" humor.

>55 Rule42: Johnson, put down that leg!

>57 white-van-man: white-van-man

He was a hyperactive child, and even now.

Re. #51 - You may have been dreaming it, as I don't recognize any of the actors who have played Doctor Who in the cast list of that film ...

>61 BTRIPP:

Yes, yes, I appear to have been dreaming. My bad. Sorry about that. :(

I was pretty certain that the Richard Hannay character (played by Robert Powell) in the 1978 movie remake of the Buchan novel was performed by perhaps my favorite Dr. Who - the fourth one, played by Tom Baker. In my defense, if there is any possible, they do actually have some similar facial characteristics - most notably their full head of curly locks - although Baker's face was back then, and still is, much fuller. And there is no mistaking Baker's somewhat manic wide eyes (for me, his most endearing feature as the good doctor).

The image of Powell I was conflating with Baker's Dr. Who imagery in my memory was probably one of him in The Thirty-Nine Steps movie wearing a fedora and long scarf out on the Scottish moors. Powell has never played Dr. Who and Baker has never played Hannay - although he has performed the role of Sir Walter Bullivant in BBC radio adaptations of the Buchan novel (but I was unaware of that until I just looked it up, and it was also many years later).

There are 4 cinematic versions of The Thirty Nine Steps.The best version,I believe is the one directed by Alfred Hitchcock, B/W, 1935

B/W ,1935 Robert Donat Director - Alfred Hitchcock

Color,1959 Kenneth More Director - Ralph Thomas

Color, 1978 Robert Powell Director - Don Sharp

Color, 2008 Rupert Penry-Jones Director - James Hawes

Several version of television versions.

Note: First Name(Actor) mentioned played the leading role, Richard Hannay of a novel.

Tom Baker voiced as Richard Hannay in the BBC Radio play, and acted in TV series - Doctor Who, fourth season.

Alfred Hitchcock's version: screenplay

www.centerrep.org/_docs/1213/39steps/39%20steps_11_5_09%20Version%20A.pdf

A quick post to let you all know I am free. (I know how worried you must have been since my letterbox arrest) Both police cells were emptied this morning and we are all on a nice coach after a really good breakfast. They even charged up my smartphone for me. Twenty two of us all told, I'm not sure how I got lumped in with all the rest but the Sgt told me he will sort it out later.

The West African men are excited because they are going on an aeroplane and none of them have flown before. They keep saying we are going to “Lungi” International Airport. I am trying to explain to them that it is pronounced L-O-N-D-O-N but they don't seem to understand.

>55 Rule42: the '42' in my LT handle doesn't refer to my age. It's the answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe, and Everything.

Wasn't there some story about it being "the oldest rule in the book" last time it was challenged in court?

I'm nearly home.

I have grown fond of my West African companions through our mutual ordeal. After meal stops it is touching how they try to hide in the coach luggage-holds and wheel-arches. Force of habit, I guess.

Despite the language barrier we have developed a mutual respect and camaraderie.

We are now at a small airfield somewhere out in the sticks. The plane is waiting on the apron and I am going aboard to say goodbye and wish them a good trip. Then straight home in the waiting police car and rescue cat.

>52 Novak: >64 Novak: >67 Novak:

Novak, everything you've described about your recent experiences leads me to believe that you're simply part of an organized supporters trip to a Stoke City away game in the Europa League. Could you do me a huge personal favor? Could you please get me Peter Crouch's autograph? Thanks.

>63 razzamajazz: "Tom Baker voiced as Richard Hannay in the BBC Radio play"

Really? Are you certain? Hannay? Not Bullivant?

>65 thorold: "Wasn't there some story about it being 'the oldest rule in the book' last time it was challenged in court?"

I wouldn't really know about that. I had recently enjoyed the pleasures of a Happy Hookah (it was Hanukkah, after all!) so I was quite a few miles high at the time.

>66 white-van-man: "Hmmm, logically, that is not possible as rule 42 would need to have been preceded by 41 others."

I quite agree. Logically, if it's the oldest rule in the book, the rule ought to be Number One.

** MollytheCat **

Hello. My on-line handle is Molly. I am Novak's Cat. I need a little help from you nice people here on LT.

I have the run of the house and laptop at present 'cos he hasn't come home for a while. Our letterbox is bent but the catflap is ok.

How do I start my own LT profile? Are cats allowed? Cash is no problem, Novak's cards are all here and I know all the PINs.

>71 Novak: Novak: Novak: ** MollytheCat **

Welcome to LT. Just click on the Join Now on the Home page—it's free but I'm sure you can find other places to spend Novak's money. I think you will fit in fine here. We have lots of good discussions and various groups you might enjoy, such as the Cats, Book, Life is good group.

>41 Novak: "None of them look very healthy and they are all sharing the same lipstick."
>52 Novak: "The tall one in the tutu who speaks a little English says they were on a day trip to Bradford for a gay march when they were all arrested."
>52 Novak: "I want to go home now and get away from all these transvestites gentlemen."

Sometimes, I find myself wondering about you, Novak. Lately, you appear to be moving in rather peculiar circles and keeping some very tawdry company. But I just remembered I promised you that I would never mention your wife or your cat on this forum, so I won't go there. As for your fellow captives, it seems to me they might not be quite as gentlemanlike as you appear to believe them to be. Hmmm, how do I put this? ... Don't they sound a little queer to you? ... Ooops, no, let me rephrase that ... Don't they come across as being just a teensy bit unorthodox? ... Not quite straight shooters? ... I mean to say, man, just take another look at the one in the tutu ... He doesn't sound exactly copacetic to me, how about you? ... Do your new friends really appear to be fine young cannibals in your eyes? ... Do they even look Jewish to you? ... Have you ever considered the possibility that this crowd you are currently corvorting around with are just a bunch of gay goy guys?

Oh Dear!

There has been a mistake. While seeing the lads off the doors were quickly closed and the plane has taken off with me still aboard. What a mess.

At least the police are aware of their mistake, I could see them laughing and waiving from the terminal. I wasn't too worried at first, thinking I could get off at London Heathrow but we have been flying for hours now.

I wish someone here spoke English.

>76 white-van-man: What were you carrying when you were arrested?

Well.. .. .. Just this smartphone and the dark "Hello Kitty" duvet cover. (King-size. Double)

>78 BoMag: "Was that Lewis Carroll ?"

Yes it was, but it's the lesser-known Louis Karrell, not the other one.

Novak Through the Letterbox is the sequel to his first best-seller, Novak in Chunderland, which explains (in somewhat nauseating detail IMO) all the health and religious problems that can occur as a result of eating too many unkosher Pizza Duvets.

Oh BTW, here's photo of Novak all wrapped up in his Hello Kitty duvet cover just before he was arrested by the police. Vince, the delivery guy at Pizza Prince, kindly emailed a copy of the photo he secretly took with his cell phone camera just after the cops arrived at Novak's home. I thought I'd better post it here just in case anyone reading this thread might think that maybe Novak was making some parts of his story up. That part is true for sure, as anyone can see for themselves.

>Rule42

Tom Baker as Sir Walter Bullivant.

Affirmative.You are right.

Not exactly doing that, I am just trying to help ,maybe too much pampering or spoon-feeding.

What are fellow LT's members for?

We have to try to stretch a helping hand. Right!

Give him a break!

Don't give him a Kit Kat , I mean a "kick" for spoiling a beautiful song.

www.google.com

Search: Kit Kat Photos

and Kick In The Butt Photos

www.metrolyrics.com/thats-what-friends-are-for-lyrics-dionne-warwick.html

"Keep Smiling,Keep Shining."

This is a nightmare. I woke up as plane landed at Lungi International Airport. We were marched off by fierce looking local airport police, it is very hot here, wherever we are. My “friends” all began to call me “boss”.
I am now being interrogated in a smelly cell all on my own. They are working the “nice one” /“nasty one” technique on me. They tell me I am in Sierra Leone, can you believe that?

They keep playing this 10CC song over and over:

You got it
I want it
I'll take it off your hands
And you'll be sorry
you crossed me
you have to understand
That you're alone
And a long ways from home.

I said “I don't like cricket, Oh no!”

It's driving me mad. My former cell mates have confirmed to the Sierra Leone Immigration Authorities that I was the mastermind in trafficking them into the UK and tempting them with drugs, loose women, looser men, free make-up, free Stoke City football tickets and supplying them with a false passport between them.

They have all been released without charge. They're gone, history. (Probably all back in UK by now). What a deceitful, horrible, back-stabbing, uncaring, self-serving, undisciplined, low-down bunch of snot-gobbling gay rat perverts they turned out to be.

I am chained to this metal chair. They keep asking me who Peter Crouch is and why do I sometimes wear a burqa. They won't believe anything I say. My mind is going.. .. I must concentrate on the 42 letterbox rules about razzmajazz duvet-covers for Doctor Who .. .. .. ..

I'm so thirsty. My cat must be worried to death about me.

>86 Molly-the-Cat: Molly, so glad you are well situated. The bling is lovely and I think you should order at least half a dozen different pieces. You don't want to wear the same thing every day.

I've heard rumors that Novak is being delayed for an indeterminate amount of time. Have you checked to see if all the windows are locked? If they're not, you might be able to squeeze through one should you want to get out for a bit of air. Also, perhaps online you could arrange for a locksmith to visit and change the lock for you - much more dignified using the door than climbing in and out of windows.

WTF ... "some people"!

>89 Molly-the-Cat: The new bed looks very comfortable and I'm glad to see that you have company. Tom looks like a good guy.

Er, has anyone had The Talk with Molly and her beau? Or does Novak want to have pictures of the grand-kitties sent to him in Lungi?

Scotland Yard and MI6 have confirmed to The Sierra Leone Immigration Control Authority that the person I am purporting to be is still in the UK. He has not used his passport to leave UK and is still using his household facilities and credit cards on a regular daily basis at his home address.

That's the PM, Cameron, lying through his teeth because he doesn't want to admit they've deported me by mistake.

I need help. The Sierra Leone Immigration Control Authority are claiming that I am a double agent codenamed “Spalding” from Nigeria. They say they are going to “throw the book at me”. (Thing looks like the whole library to me)

The British consul has contacted me and they are sending for a lawyer to represent me.

They say I am going to be here for a long time. Hope someone is feeding my poor little cat. (Sob!)
- - - -

>93 Molly-the-Cat: Oh, Molly, that sounds delicious! Did you invite Tom to share your repast?

>95 Molly-the-Cat: Ah yes, Stray Cats do have a certain appeal, don't they?

It's the end of the world. (For me, anyway)

The British Consulate has arranged for a high powered international lawyer to come to Sierra Leone and sort all this mess out. He is reported to be the world's top man. Obviously, back in UK the government and Cameron are very cagey about their mistake in having me and the others deported. Now they're trying to (quietly) make amends.

Have you read about this fiasco in The Times? No? I thought not.

The top lawyer-man was due to fly from Tel Aviv to Lungi International yesterday but there has been a bit of a setback. He has some kind of religious hang-up and will not fly on a crowded passenger jet unless he is wrapped up in polythene or something. The other passengers objected and had him thrown off the plane.

How can people be so mean, selfish and thoughtless? Now I am really stuck.

What if those cops left the cat-flap at home locked when they took me away?

>Novak

Will you be writing a book on your experiences, or a fiction novel based on facts ?

>101 white-van-man: It's been over a week since his last post; certainly doesn't look good. His cat Molly the Cat has been silent as well. Of course she may just be busy using his credit cards.

I've been a little worried about Molly...

>104 Molly-the-Cat: Molly, so glad to hear you are okay; we've been worried about you. Now do be careful about those strange libations.

>104 Molly-the-Cat: >105 Taphophile13:

Dear Molly,

Now that you're a much-valued member of LibraryThing.com as a fussy cataloging pussy cat in your own right, you might also wish to consider complimentary membership in the following four complementary websites ... LibertaryThing.com, LiberatoryThing.com, LibratoryThing.com and LibatoryThing.com.

As an avid book-collecting and book-reading member of LibraryThing.com you will be pleased to learn that you now also qualify for a six month courtesy trial membership at the exciting new social networking site, LibertaryThing.com, which has been designed specifically for book readers like yourself.

Additionally, your successful liberation of that Scrooge-like Novak's secret stash of cash, not to mention your free and liberal use of all his major credit cards, now entitles you to a lifelong membership in LiberatoryThing.com.

Also, your recent oscillations back and forth in >95 Molly-the-Cat: re whether to post a studio or live performance video version of Stray Cat Strut has duly qualified you for a free one-year trial membership of LibratoryThing.com.

Finally, your current foray into trying new and strange libations has just earned you a free one-year platinum status enrollment in LibatoryThing.com.

But wait, there's more .....

If you post just 3 laissez-faire, middle-of-the-road political comments on this site's Talk forums AND you join all four of the above websites by 5 November 2014, you will be automatically enrolled for one full year in LiberalToryThing.com. So don't delay, post and join today!

>104 Molly-the-Cat: You might want to stick to the anchovy vodka instead. It's the sugar content that gives the bad head. Oh, and chocolate milk really does work.

I'm so worried. The legal system here seems so vague. They're not sure what to charge me with.

Samuel, in the next cell says he is in for fifteen years. Allegedly, he had no lights on his bike. The judge said he would have got life if it had been dark.

Sob ! My poor little moggy, she hates the fireworks on 5th NOV.

>108 Novak: Is there a basement where Molly can hide during the Guy Fawkes celebrations?
Have you received the cat that >100 BoMag: tried to arrange for you, or at least visitation?

>109 Taphophile13: No, sadly, I could not have a cat here because the prison guards have insisted that I have this sort-of-coyote-type thing to share my cell with me.

I am afraid of it. It keeps looking at me with it's eyes.

http://www.librarything.com/pic/4605237

>111 Novak: Oh, dear. Whatever that is, it looks dangerous. Do you think the eyes might be laser sights?

>112 Taphophile13: Dunno!

Here at the prison they call it “Lechatnoir” or something, I don't speak the lingo.

I'm sure it's not a cat, but, then again, it's not a dog either. I've named it GrimNasty. That way it can decide it's sex and type for itself, it's not with me, I'm not a vet. Right now I'm only a convict and GrimNasty is trying to eat my porridge.

My sad little calico cat is probably starving to death - - - - -

>113 Novak: Well I think it is very open-minded of you to let the creature decide its own sex and type rather than assigning your own impressions. And letting it have your porridge is a very good idea. It may not be as hungry afterwards and therefore less inclined to attack you while you sleep and you will also know if the porridge was laced with poison (you can never be too careful).

Surely one of your neighbors will notice your absence and will check on your cat. She must have made a friend or two in the neighborhood?

>114 Taphophile13: Surely one of your neighbors will notice your absence and will check on your cat. She must have made a friend or two in the neighborhood?

Sadly, none of the neighbours come near the house since the misunderstanding with the motor mower and the Jehovah Witnesses.

>115 Novak: Cats can be amazingly resourceful as demonstrated by several of our American cats who successfully dialed the 911 emergency number:

http://www.abc15.com/news/local-news/water-cooler/zeke-the-cat-calls-911-from-ca...

http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/offbeat/2005-12-31-cat-called-911_x.htm

Your cat may be smarter than you realize and may already have arranged for her own rescue.

>115 Novak: "... the misunderstanding with the motor mower and the Jehovah Witnesses."

Oh yeah, I remember that. It created quite a stink at the time, didn't it?. The whole sequence of events leading up to it was even used as the basis for an episode of Lawn and Order if I remember correctly. Circulation figures for The Watchtower and Awake! magazines shot through the roof! Weren't the wheelbarrow, leaf blower, 5 hoes, 3 rakes, 2 sets of handcuffs, and a multi-spiked aerator also taken into consideration by the judge? Gosh, I never realized you could possibly use a leaf blower and a rake handle to achieve an orgasmic climax in such a manner until that story broke. And to this day it still makes me really angry to think that the man wearing the giant plastic leaf and lawn bag only got 7 years! It's been quite awhile now, hasn't it? Do you know if all the traumatized squirrels recovered? And do the neighbors still avoid using the gazebo?

>117 Rule42: Too much information.. .. ..

Yes.. .. .. Hmmm.. .. .. well .. .. .. But that's all in the past now, and I did pay for all the damage, dental treatment and vet's bills. The judge did say that what an individual keeps in his shed and what he uses it for is his own private business and not the concern of any religious organisation.

I would like to state that the above was a completely separate incident to the burqa/Hallo-Kitty-duvet-cover-affair and forms no connection whatsoever, in spite of whatever the neighbours and Watchtower tell you.

Moving on. .. .. .. Here in Sierra Leone we have had positive developments. Today a black pre-war Mercedes convertible arrived at the prison and a very large khaki uniform with braids stepped out. Inside the uniform was a sweaty fat man with gold teeth. He addressed me by name through the bars of my cell in good English ( he said he had been at Sandhurst.)

He said “Mistakes have been made but my department is determined to learn lessons from them.” It sounded so much like being back in UK, it brought a lump to my throat.

He was just saying how they would release me “forthwith” when GrimNasty bit him.
He got back in his car, clouted the driver, and they drove away.

I remain very hopeful, what do you think?

>119 Molly-the-Cat: I'm sure the NHS only employs the very best nurses, unlike some countries that don't have universal health care. No doubt he kept his health problems from you because he didn't want to worry you. Perhaps when his next treatment is due the nurses could keep you company for a while and keep you from getting bored.

>119 Molly-the-Cat:

Sounds more like a couple of hoes in search of a rake to me. :)

>124 Molly-the-Cat: Yes, I understand. There are so many things you would have been doing if he were there: hiding under furniture and grabbing his ankles as he walked by, dashing past him just as he went down the stairs, and thumping full-tilt along the hall at 3:00 AM.

>124 Molly-the-Cat: "... I used to jump off the wardrobe onto him while he was still fast asleep in his little bed.. .. in his Hello-Kitty PJs.. .. sigh!"

Here's a picture of Molly wearing Novak's Hello-Kitty PJs ...

The above caption should, of course, read: "YOU'RE THE CAT IN NOVAK'S PAJAMAS"

What? ... What? ... That's what the goddarn cat wrote, isn't it?! ... It's not easy being a pedant ....

>119 Molly-the-Cat: >121 Rule42:

Spade looked at the two hoes with hard and implacable yellow-gray eyes that held an almost exaggerated amount of candor and started to roll a cigarette. When Spade's gaze finally met theirs his unblinking yellow-gray eyes glinted for an instant with malicious humor and then became expressionless again. Before the hoes could say anything Spade looked back over at the cat and asked, "What are those soddin' hoes doin' here? Ya do realize, dontcha, I could run you in you for breaking the lawn?"

The cat looked coyly at Spade's somber yellow-gray eyes and her face became as pink as a Hello Kitty duvet burqa and then turned the color of pizza again. She was clearly shaken ... but not purrred. "Leaf me alone. They are just two nurses looking for their patient, Lord Lucan, but his nibs isn't here right now."

Spade blew smoke threw his nostrils and laughed. “In those heels? You always have, I must say, a smooth explanation ready."

Molly grinned like a Cheshire cat and purred, "What do you want me to do? Learn to stutter?”

Sam Spade's yellow-gray eyes briefly twinkled as he smiled to himself before muttering under his breath, "Molly, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.”

I would not be too concerned, Molly dear. Unscrupulous people (not to mention any names) can do astonishing things with a good photoshop program.

And, as they say, payback can be a b*tch. Have you looked at what programs are available on his lordship's computer?

>134 Molly-the-Cat: I'm glad to see you are getting some good exercise. Tom does have an interesting style there.

>136 Molly-the-Cat:
Style is relative. I should perhaps have written "style." Tom obviously didn't read the instruction manual. You, however, are a natural athlete — or have you taken ballet classes?

>116 Taphophile13: Thank you for that.

The British consulate have now given me a nice room, clean clothes and a promise that I will be back home in my own house "within 36 hours"

I am so happy.

I can't wait to find out how my little calico cat Molly is.

>140 Molly-the-Cat: Don't panic, Molly. If you toss stuff over the treadmill (like unwashed Hello-Kitty PJs) he might not even notice it's there. And the credit card statements...I'm sure he'll just think his number was stolen and the issuing bank will write it off.

Better find a good hiding place for the vodka, though.

I was always under the impression that cats had access to n-dimensional space and frequently put their catnip mice there in order to drive their owners crazy. Is that just a feline urban legend?

Barring that, I'd look into hiring a storage unit fast.

>143 Marissa_Doyle:

Yes, yes, cats love boxes. My good friend Schrödinger's cat said his experience in the box was the most thrilling high he'd had since bungee jumping. Unfortunately, my friend's quantum experiments were all screwed up by his cat's playful use of its nine lives.

What a sad homecoming. :(

Molly, my precious little cat is missing and I've had to chase out the horrible tomcat from next door.

It looks like squatters have been living here while I've been gone. Seems to me they were shoplifters, targeted pet stores and cheap jewellers by the looks of things. It must have been profitable because they appear to have eaten well.

They left in a hurry, took my laptop. They have left some children's toys and pyjamas and lots of back copies of a newspaper, "the ONION." Never seen that before.

Police called it “Aladin's Cave”, took it all away as evidence.

Now I'll have to go out looking for my poor little cat. .. .. Sniff ! .. .. .. sob ! ..

>146 Novak: Poor Molly must have been frightened by the intruders and is probably hiding nearby. As soon as she sees you are home she will return. Then you can appropriately show her how much you missed her - some new toys, special food, etc.

>147 Taphophile13: I do hope you're right.

I've put up some "Lost" posters and things. The printer who did them for me could not accept my credit card. Said it was overdrawn. Can't be, if I've not used it. Stupid man.

No sign of Molly the cat. Very sad. Maybe the squatters snatched her and she's gone for good. :(

Someone handed in my laptop to the police station, found it in the mall. It all seems to be working OK except it's impossible to read a few of the threads on Library Thing. They've been permanently erased. On this thread I can only see my most recent post, no more. Curious! Never mind, this old laptop has seen better days. I'll get a new one soon.

Cats usually return to places where they have been KINDLY treated.

The poor little thing probably thought that you had abandoned her and left in search of you. I'd suggest working in a radius of about a mile singing at the top of your voice so that wherever she is she can hear you.

And I'd agree with Taphophile13 - new toys, lay in the oysters and pate ... and maybe she would like a pair of pyjamas since you are going into winter and she will have lost weight and feel the cold.

>151 pinkozcat:

I have tried the “singing at the top of my voice” bit. (Read it in my “How to Love Your Cat” book)

I was well into “Simple Simon Says” as I passed the mall. I knew I was in a bit of trouble when the police Sgt from the car said, “Oh! It's you again, Burqa Bill.”

I was very polite, asked if he had any special request, offered him "I can't get no satifaction" (he looked like a Rolling Stones fan) all to no avail.

He wouldn't listen but, after the breatholiser alcohol test, kindly drove me home and ordered me to stay here.

Maybe he just did not dig The 1910 Fruit Gum Company.

Still no sign of Molly.

>152 Novak: Glad you are safely returned. Have you tried rubbing a lot of catnip on your clothes or at least putting several bags of catnip in your pockets and walking about the neighborhood. If Molly is anywhere nearby she should be attracted to the scent and you could have your much desired reunion. I do hope she is safe and not frightened or going hungry.

>149 Molly-the-Cat: (Psst, Molly! If you see someone walking around your neighborhood wearing a burqa that smells of catnip, beware - it's his Lordship looking for you.)

>152 Novak: "I was well into 'Simple Simon Says' as I passed the mall. I knew I was in a bit of trouble when the police Sgt from the car said, 'Oh! It's you again, Burqa Bill.'"

You sirry iriot, Novak, you were standing right outside it. Why didn't you just tell the occifer that you were simply on your way to grab a bite in your favorite fast food franchise?

"Oh hello, good evening, occifer? No, sir, I didn't realize that. You must be kidding me?! A £200 fine! Wow, that seems a bit stiff if you don't mind me saying. No, sir, I didn't see the signs. Thank you for pointing them out to me, occifer."

Phew! £200 eh? And all because I didn't see the "No alliteration" signs next to the trash bins.

This just in ...

Police earlier today issued the following APB description of a desperate pervert that is harassing all the local malls and housing estates in the Cornwall area.

This man is lip balmed and extremely dangerous - do not attempt to approach him or feed him pizza under any circumstances. If seen, immediately call 999.
He is a known cataphile who regularly wanders the subways and sewers in the Cornwall area while singing popular hits from the sixties and seventies.

He was last seen wearing a bright pink Hello Kitty duvet burqa in the immediate vacinity of the Bodinnick Burqa King franchise. Other recent sitings have occurred in or near the Bude Burqa King, the Boscastle Burqa King, the Bolventor Burqa King, and the Bodmin Burqa King. This individual is also known to frequently visit fast food restaurants belonging to The West Cornwall Pasty Company, and has occasionally been spotted buying sandwiches in Tastte! outlets as far afield as Tavistock, Tintagel and Tregony.

Although his personal hygiene leaves something to be desired (some witnesses have reported a strong pervasive body odor reminiscent of aniseed) he also appears to have a fascinating attraction for all cats and dogs in the local area.

If you think you have seen this man or have any other information regarding his current whereabouts, please contact your local police station immediately.

The following wanted poster has also been distributed to all Burqa King, Pizza Prince, Tastte! and West Cornwall Pasty Company franchises in the Cornwall and Devon areas.

>160 Molly-the-Cat: "Begin work on Plan 'B' ^. .^"

Hi there, my name is Dr. Unruly Kevorkian.

One of the questions I'm most frequently asked is, "Is there a kitty equivalent of the morning-after pill?"

Y'all know the scenario; I guess we've all been there at some point in our lives. Your kitten is seven months old and is experiencing her first heat. Then one afternoon the little madam jumps out the window while you're busy receiving your regular bi-weekly therapeutic body massage on the snooker table. Then it takes you half an hour to finally dismiss both of your physiotherapy nurses and clean off the pineapple before you can even start to go looking for her. By which time, as Sod's Law would have it, it's already too late, because it only took the little tramp less than thirty minutes to track down the only un-neutered tomcat in your entire neighborhood and seduce him by parading around in front of him in her sleaziest set of pink Hello Kitty lingerie. So by the time you find your darling little pussy, she has a big Cheshire cat grin and is no longer in heat. And, it goes without saying, the stains almost never come out of the PJs.

Unfortunately, the answer to your question is a resounding no, no, no.

So what choices do you have when your own little kitty princess goes missing only to be turned into a pregnant queen after succumbing to the amorous attentions of the neighborhood Tom Cruise? Well, it all depends on whether you are a pro-choice kitty owner or not. If the idea of kitty abortion appalls you then, I'm afraid, you're a bit snookered ... although the massages are always lots of fun and eventually, if you use enough analgesic (haha, just snook that one past the red flag posse!), you get used to the pain of the pineapple prickles.

For all the rest of you that have no moral conscience, who are not bothered at all by the thought of all those tiny furry lives being snuffed out before they've even had a chance to begin; that spare no thought for the jingling plastic balls those kitties will never get to chase; nor the teenage experimentation with catnip they’ll all miss out on; never to experience the pleasure of spending 10 straight hours in a patch of sun; nor the joy of sleeping on a human being’s face; for all of you miserable sods, there exists the possibility of cat abortion.

In the end, I suppose, it's probably no worse than if you had done what you should have done in the first place, and sent your little kitty hoe to go be Sam Spade.

Overslept this morning. I'm exhausted. I ache all over. :(

Must be all that worry about the cat.

Surely Molly-the-Cat has been Sam Spade, hasn't she? Here, where I live all cats have to have a chat with their vet about family planning, be microchipped and registered so it is rather hard to lose them. But I think that Molly might be concerned about the hoes who visit and that they might dig up some catachresis from somewhere.

This whole saga has the whiff of Barbara Catland about it

>165 Molly-the-Cat: Oh, dear. Molly, it sounds as if you caught a cold last night. I hope you have found your way back to Eleanor Rigby. Perhaps she could make a nice bowl of chicken soup for you and you could sit by the fire with a nice warm blanket.

#167
Molly, I think that the time has come for you to go home. You are suitably sick and hopefully looking thin and pathetic. He will probably think that you managed to escape from the Den of Thieves and have limped home sick, starved and generally maltreated; he will feel guilty for leaving and neglecting you and who would believe that a cat could work a computer anyway. I know that my furbabies can but their typing isn't sufficiently accurate to get the passwords right. Don't wait until you are well - strike while the iron is hot and load him with the guilts .

load him with the guilts
Hmm, there is a certain logic to that. More guilts could result in more treats, tender loving care, new toys, lots of catnip if that appeals. He could be so relived to see you back and so worried about your condition that he won't be paying attention to credit card bills and such.

>170 Molly-the-Cat: That was indeed a terrible trauma to go through. An extended regimen of massage, caviar and therapy might help soothe your nerves.

I suppose that Eleanor Rigby lets you curl up in front of the kitchen hearth? Yes?

#174
Molly, just make sure that, as a part of the general clean-up, no-one hands you a broom and asks you to sweep out the hearth.

#176 Molly-the-cat

I am working on finding a new man as we speak.

Have you considered Greebo? He is lurking somewhere around and he is VERY sexy.

Feeling so lonely.

I think I'll get a dog.

#178
Dogs are psychophantic . If you say 'pretty please' then Molly might come back but I think that she is enjoying herself so don't hold your breath.

... and it wasn't a spelling error; it is a new word.

Molly-the-cat is one of my friends. There is no way I'd blow the whistle on her.

But she has been in a very dangerous situation (See the folk tale Thousand Furs) and needs support.

Molly-the-cat is my friend too. And Novak was so concerned about her that he took time out for a game of snooker instead of looking for her. (By the way, that's why they have locks on doors.)

Molly the Cat is back!

I can't believe it. I came back from the shops and there on the doorstep is a cat-carrying-cage with one of my posters attached and shut inside waiting patiently was MOLLY.

Let her out, gave her a hug and a saucer of warm mild and some sardines (her favourites) and now she is asleep in front of the fire as if she had never been gone.

Don't know how she got here, there's no note or anything. I guess "whoever" will be back to collect their cat carrier.

I'm off to the shops to get her some cream.. .. .. .. ..

>187 Novak: So glad to hear that Molly is safe and sound and back in her own home. Too bad she can't tell you what happened while you were out of the country but she's back and that is all that really matters. I'm sure you will spoil her a bit now that you are reunited.

(Molly-the-Cat! How did you manage to have a cat-carrying-cage delivered to his Lordship's house? Hope he's taking proper care of you now.)

#187

Novak - I am so happy to hear that Molly is back. You must have been so worried and she must have been unhappy to be away from home and from you for all this time, frightened and bewildered.

She will need extra cuddles and attention to help her to recover from such a horrendous experience.

Please give her a stroke from me.

>191 pinkozcat: "Please give her a stroke from me."

Spitefully scaring a cat in order to give it a stroke may well be viewed by some Canadian LT members as a clear case of abusive behavior towards one of our dumb friends. You are reminded, pinkozcat, that LibraryThing's Terms of Use prohibits any kind of personal abuse of other LT members, and that includes cat members such as Molly. In the future, please do not maliciously discriminate between human and feline LT members. Let's keep it civil, everyone. Thanks.

May the fourth be with you Happy Ganksthiving to you all.

>191 pinkozcat: Poor little thing. I dread to think of the awful time she has had, not knowing where I have gone or why she has been abandoned.

I am making it all up to her now and spoiling her with attention. She seems tired and is taking all her special meals lying down in front of the fire. At least she is eating well and drinking her warm milk.

#193 Novak:

She has been through a traumatic time; no wonder she is tired out with all that wandering the streets and having to beg for food. How clever of you to have thought of distributing the Cat Lost posters. Without them you may never have got her back.

#194 Molly-the-cat

Molly - now you will just have to hope that Novak never meets up with Eleanor Rigby :)

>194 Molly-the-Cat:
I think you missed a trick there. If you still have an Amazon account, get hold of Flush: a biography — a mere spaniel managed to con one of the most intelligent humans of his generation into paying ransom for him no fewer than three times, and even tricked her into taking him to live in a warmer climate (and an even more intelligent human writing his biography fifty years later still believed in his complete innocence). Surely you can do better than that.

>200 Molly-the-Cat:
It looks as though there are still a few weeks next year when the Casa Guidi flat is available, if that credit card of yours still works: http://www.landmarktrust.org.uk/search-and-book/properties/casa-guidi-5521/#tabs...

#201 Thorold - are you sure that it is real? It looks like a cardboard cutout from the outside. I think that it is a flat (theatre style) left over from a movie filmed in Florence - all frontage and no substance.

Molly-the-cat, you must know some cats in Florence - maybe one of them could vet check it out for you before you commit yourself.

>202 Molly-the-Cat:
I'm sure EBB wouldn't have put up with that "no pets" rule for a moment.

>203 pinkozcat:
I've stayed in a few Landmark places, though nothing as grand as that. Knowing them, it will not only all be painfully real, but all of it will be documented and footnoted to the hilt.

Here we go again:

http://news.nationalpost.com/news/canada/passengers-on-porter-flight-clash-when-...

By the way, it isn't sexism or prejudice because it is the divine will. Yeah, right. Some of the first comments provoked a smile.

I wonder if they consult that book for medical procedures too. No mention of germs as the cause of disease.

Indeed. Are women allowed to have such opinions, choices, options, whatever? I've seen a few skeevy looking characters I wouldn't want to be anywhere near. And then there's this:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2612405/Male-passenger-groped-sleeping-w...

>214 hawkwinds: Hmm. You almost make it sound as if he is "special needs"! In fact, now I wonder how he was able to get to the airport and get on the plane all by himself.