Empty nesters?

Discussão40-Something Library Thingers

Aderi ao LibraryThing para poder publicar.

Empty nesters?

Este tópico está presentemente marcado como "adormecido"—a última mensagem tem mais de 90 dias. Pode acordar o tópico publicando uma resposta.

1MDLady
Fev 29, 2008, 8:50am

Just curious if there are any empty nesters in our little group. I am looking for some tips on how to deal with the whole "empty" feeling. Out of 4 kids I am down to 1 and he's a senior in high school. You'd think I'd be thrilled with so much time to myself but I hate the thought of it. I even went and applied for a third job on the weekends. Any words of advice would be appreciated.

2mcna217
Fev 29, 2008, 9:09am

I'm also an empty nester. My kids are 24, 21, and 19. All three are away at school and the closest one lives 8 hours away. I have been dealing with it by keeping busy. I work long hours, take an evening class at the local community college, and tutor. It's hard to notice the empty bedrooms if you're never home. My friend and co-worker has done much the same. Unfortunately, I don't think a mental health professional would recommend this option.

My husband is adjusting much better. He enjoys that we have more time to spend together as a couple. He also is rediscovering hobbies he put on the back burner while the kids were little. We've converted one of the kid's bedrooms into a guest room and now he's eyeing another for a "media room." I told him to keep his hands off it. It's still to soon for me.

Whenever I start to feel sorry for myself I remind myself that the kids are EXACTLY where I want them to be. They're in school, meeting new people, living somewhat independently, learning new things everyday. That is what makes it easier.

I hope it all goes well for you.

3drneutron
Mar 1, 2008, 6:47pm

We're not quite empty-nesters. The son is a senior in high school and will heading off to Virginia about 4 hours away for college in the Fall. Even now, though, he's out quite a lot and it's weird to come home to an empty house. We'll have to see how the empty nest is going to go, but it's going to take some adjustment, I'm sure.

4judylou
Mar 11, 2008, 2:00am

My 25yo lives in the city and my 23yo is living overseas, leaving only my 18yo at home. I miss them when they are not here, but I am also very proud of what the older two have achieved. That they have so many choices and the opportunity to "follow their dreams" is a wonderful thing. I always look forward to them coming home, but now I find myself also looking forward to "getting back to normal" - in the case of my 23yo son, that means a much cleaner and tidier house !! And so . . . life goes on.

5KinnicChick
Abr 1, 2008, 10:59pm

ME!!! And I'm totally enjoying it! But with me being an introvert I've always craved more hours alone than I've been given, so I was made for the empty nest. I have had so many things I've wanted to do with my day but never had the hours to do them before - going jogging, yoga, reading, writing, crochet, teaching myself to knit, joining knitting circles, book clubs, volunteering and having the time to do it!

My husband is a cancer survivor so getting more involved in some of the volunteer orgs around here - the hospital and such. There are so many things one can do! And now the time to do it! :) I'm thrilled... Truly.

6Lori_OGara
Out 25, 2009, 6:18pm

I am an Empty Nester too. My girls are almost 23 and 25. One married husband in the Army and one with a live in boyfriend. Both couples live in another state about 700 miles from me. I scream inside when I think of how far away they are. What is worse, I have 2 grand children now that are growing up away from me. Like judylou, I am proud of my kids and what they are doing in thier lives and like kinnicchick, I am staying busy. But Empty nest, yeah I get it and it sucks to think about it...so I just don't think about them being gone and so far away.

Ok, now with that said. I am enjoying the alone time but it is too damn quiet around here. I keep the TV on for noise....like in White Noise. I have good days and sad days....I usually stick my nose in a book until the sadness passes...and it does pass eventually.

One bit of advice, get a famliy cell phone plan. That helps. We talk alot more now than when they were moody teenagers at home.

7crazy4reading
Jan 6, 2010, 9:59am

I am not quite a full empty nester. My daughter is in college and her boyfriend now has his own place so she stays there more then at our house. She is always welcome even though I jokingly say that her room is going to be converted into my library, sewing room and such. My son is a senior in high school and right now we are not sure what he plans to do. He is talking about hiking this summer but hasn't said anything else about going to college. He just doesn't know what he wants to do.

I am enjoying the more free time. No more running around to the kids activities or waiting to pick them up from practice when they are finished. Now I get home from work and I start dinner, do wash, dishes or just sit down and read or watch a littel bit of TV. Then later I head to the gym for some exercise. Plus now I can snuggle more with my hubby and not get comments from the kids.

Since my daughter and her boyfriend have left they actually come over more (mainly looking for a home cooked meal) and talk instead of arguing. We all have cell phones so we can keep in touch that way.