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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture… (2014)

por Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson (Autor)

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267773,813 (3.93)1
"The authors of the Los Angeles Times bestselling The Whole-Brain Child team up again to offer parents of children aged 2-13 a practical roadmap to effective, productive, and more peaceful discipline, highlighting the fascinating and important connection between the way a parent reacts to misbehavior and a child's neurological development"--… (mais)

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I don't have kids, but my sister uses this book with her nephews. Honestly, while reading it, I thought a lot about my college-aged students, and how some of this might work for them. Many have grown up entitled and not used to hearing the words "no." Obviously I'm not going to treat them like 4-year-olds, but the book certainly got me thinking. ( )
  lemontwist | Jan 12, 2021 |
This book provides a helpful way to think about responding to children's behaviors.

All in all: it's a longer read than it needs to be and seems to over-promise, but the mindset to approaching parenting presented in the book is good.

In summary: When the child does something that grates,
1. Take a deep breath, or do what you can to calm yourself, so that you are responding rather than reacting.
2. Try to understand the child and connect: get down to their level and ask questions with a mindset of curiosity. Then comfort with that knowledge.
3. Respond in a way that respects the child and your own rules: strategize consequences with child, provide a 'yes, but' if possible instead of a 'no', etc
- Try to limit own talking
- You can wait until you're both in a place of calm and can think (doesn't have to be right away)
4. Allow your relationship to heal, and move on. Acknowledge if one of you (including parent) acted in a way that's not good for the relationship, family, etc. Forgive. Move on.

Most of the things raised I kind of knew, but there were some strategies that were either new or brought more to the forefront.

HOWEVER
1. The title is misleading. No Drama is referring to what the parent brings to the discipline, but most parents will come in hoping for that to be the result. So... misleading. There will still be drama, parent is just not adding to it. Mindful Discipline or Whole Brain Discipline or Discipline as Teaching would have been better titles.

2. As with many personal development books, it seemed overwrought.

3. I dislike the illustrations. I didn't like the style. They were big. They often didn't add to the information, and the emotional expression on the child when the parent does the 'right' discipline approach just annoyed me.

4. The authors say that the strategies won't always work and sometimes parents won't always do the strategies and all this is okay because it's the long game. So far, the strategies mostly have not worked for me. My child's kicking and hitting continues and I have not experienced the author's description of the child like melting into their emotion when connected. I'm not saying the approach isn't right or that long term, my children won't be calmed quicker, but so far in 2 months, I haven't seen much gain. Maybe I'm not good at connecting.

If I saw the strategies working most or at least half of the time, I think I'd appreciate this more. However, I don't. The strategies seem to work better for my husband; we think this is because he is more patient and is able to suppress/hide his feelings better. ( )
  kparr | Oct 31, 2019 |
This is a fantastic book; I would really like to adopt Siegel and Bryson's very well-informed and well-tested discipline philosophy. Their philosophy does seem to require more thought, creativity, and engagement with your child than the average parenting style. I think that my husband will be great at this, but I'm worried for myself about doing a good job with the creativity part.

The philosophy in a nutshell is that you first connect with your child--meaning that you have a discussion or a few words to help calm your child (and yourself) to bring them to a less reactive state so that you can teach them better when you get to the correction step. (these are the only two steps)

In correction, aka redirection, aka discipling (not a typo--they do talk about the relationship between discipleship and discipline even though it's not a religious book), you first think about what you want to teach your child, which may not be the same thing even for the same infraction from one time to another. One goal is to help your child develop empathy. Part of this will often involve discussing with your child what they can do to make things right.

Siegel and Bryson advocate being consistent but not rigid and helping your child develop emotional intelligence in the long run. They do talk about how to begin this process with toddlers who can't participate in the process in the same way an older child can.

We thought this book was really excellent. If any of you, my goodreads friends, read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts on the book, especially if you have older children than I do. We intend to read more of Siegel's parenting books in the future. ( )
  LauraBee00 | Mar 7, 2018 |
Daniel J. Siegel y Tina Payne Bryson, analizan, en esta ocasión, el desafío primordial en la educación de los hijos: la disciplina. Haciendo hincapié en el fascinante vínculo entre el desarrollo neurológico del niño y el modo en que los padres reaccionan ante la mala conducta de este, La disciplina sin lágrimas proporciona un efectivo y compasivo «mapa de carreteras» para afrontar las pataletas, las tensiones y las lágrimas sin montar un número.
Al definir el verdadero significado de la palabra «disciplina» (instruir, no gritar ni regañar), los autores explican cómo establecer conexión con el niño, redirigir emociones y convertir una rabieta en una oportunidad para crecer. De este modo, el ciclo de comportamiento (y castigo) negativo básicamente se detiene, mientras que la resolución del problema se transforma en una situación en la que todos salen ganando. En esta guía para no volverte loco descubrirás:

- Estrategias para ayudar a los padres a identificar su propia filosofía disciplinaria y dominar los mejores métodos para transmitir las lecciones que intentan impartir - aspectos del desarrollo del cerebro del niño y analisis de las disciplinas más adecuadas y constructivas para todas las edades y etapas
- La manera de conectar con un niño con tranquilidad y afectuosidad (por extrema que sea su conducta) fijando a la vez límites claros y coherentes
- Consejos para orientar a tus hijos a lo largo de una pataleta a fin de lograr percepción, empatía y reparación
- Veinte errores en relación con la disciplina que hasta los mejores padres cometen, y cómo permanecer centrados en los principios de las técnicas disciplinarias y el estilo parental de «cerebro pleno».

Complementado con sencillas historias y divertidas ilustraciones que dan vida a las sugerencias de los autores, La disciplina sin lágrimas explica cómo trabajar con la mente en desarrollo de tu hijo, resolver conflictos de forma tranquila, inspirar felicidad y fortalecer la resiliencia en todos los miembros de la familia.
  bibliest | Nov 7, 2016 |
Another book by Dan Siegel. Good examples.
  MarkBaumann | Aug 10, 2015 |
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Daniel J. Siegelautor principaltodas as ediçõescalculated
Bryson, Tina PayneAutorautor principaltodas as ediçõesconfirmado
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"The authors of the Los Angeles Times bestselling The Whole-Brain Child team up again to offer parents of children aged 2-13 a practical roadmap to effective, productive, and more peaceful discipline, highlighting the fascinating and important connection between the way a parent reacts to misbehavior and a child's neurological development"--

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