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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to…
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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind (original 2014; edição 2016)

por Daniel J. Siegel (Autor)

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592939,739 (3.93)1
Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline.
 
“A lot of fascinating insights . . . an eye-opener worth reading.”—Parents
Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears—without causing a scene.
 
Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth. By doing so, the cycle of negative behavior (and punishment) is essentially brought to a halt, as problem solving becomes a win/win situation. Inside this sanity-saving guide you’ll discover
 
• strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy—and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart
• facts on child brain development—and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
• the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child—no matter how extreme the behavior—while still setting clear and consistent limits
• tips for navigating your child through a tantrum to achieve insight, empathy, and repair
• twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make—and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques
 
Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life, No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child’s developing mind, peacefully resolve conflicts, and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family.
Praise for No-Drama Discipline
 
“With lucid, engaging prose accompanied by cartoon illustrations, Siegel and Bryson help parents teach and communicate more effectively.”Publishers Weekly
“Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go.”—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of The Opposite of Worry.
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Membro:MiriBear
Título:No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind
Autores:Daniel J. Siegel (Autor)
Informação:Bantam (2016), 288 pages
Coleções:A sua biblioteca
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No-Drama Discipline: The Whole-Brain Way to Calm the Chaos and Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind por Daniel J. Siegel (2014)

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My favorite style of parenting books -- really my style of practical advice oriented books in general -- are those which provide a model, preferably one based in sound principles, and then explore what that model looks like in practice. I can't remember a list of tips and tricks, and tips and tricks only get you so far. A model, on the other hand, gives you the tools you need to adapt to your situation.

No-Drama Discipline does just that. Siegel and Payne Bryson take into account childhood cognitive development and what one can realistically expect out of a brain that's been "hijacked" by an emotional episode to present a discipline model which is both respectful of the child and focuses on long term growth rather than just stopping undesired behavior in the moment.

At the heart of their model is an attitude shift toward discipline. Discipline is about teaching, not punishment. As such, it's most effective when the child is receptive to learning. To get a child into a receptive state, caretakers first need to connect with the child. Some of this is orienting yourself. We tend to build stories about the behavior of others. Those stories can lead us to a response that's not actually appropriate. Instead, we should take a more investigative approach and try to see the situation with fresh eyes. The other half of connecting is helping your child feel felt: comfort them, validate their feelings (not their actions!), and listen.

Once you've connected, redirect. This is not the same as distraction. Rather, it's redirecting the child's attention from how they feel in the moment to the lesson you want them to learn. First, this requires you understanding what lesson you want to teach. Once you know that lesson, your goal is to help the child understand their own feelings and responses, reflect on how their actions impact others, and discuss how they can make things right again.

This process is a lot of work, and no caretaker can always respond in this way. Sometimes, you just need to stop problematic behavior and move on. However, as the authors point out, attempts to stop behavior without taking more time often end up wasting more time in struggles and tears -- the drama that no-drama discipline is hoping to avoid. This approach is most effective as an alternative to those situations. If you're going to spend time on discipline, make that time as effective as possible.

Although it's not really a criticism, the thing that makes this book less applicable for me right now is that while you can practice light versions from a younger age, it really won't start to shine until kids are old enough to have some reasoning skills. That said, I've found that even just working more connection into my interactions with my toddler helps defuse situations more quickly, even if the redirect part of the process sounds more like "because I say so". ( )
  eri_kars | Jul 10, 2022 |
Great book on parenting. No-drama discipline uses a whole-brain approach to discipline your child in a respectful and nurturing way. This allows you to set clear boundaries, develop the child’s social-emotional skills and deepen your relationship. Good for parenting and discipline (teaching/nurturing) for kids of all ages (especially young kids).

Generally, I like that the book is easy to read, with tons of scientific background, practical tips, useful illustrations and analogies. The authors use the upstairs-and-downstairs brain to explain the relationship between our primal/emotional brain vs logical brain. Then, they move into details about why/how to connect wtih the child first, followed by redirection strategies. There are also a good number of examples involving young kids vs older ones.

The book is actually very repetitive. I don't mind that because it helps to lock in the key messages. However, I didn't like the relative lack of integration between some of the main components and frameworks, especially where they overlap. And because the authors use the words "principles" and "strategies" very loosely (even when some are more like processes, steps or tactics).

What it covers:
• How to rethink and redefine ""discipline"" as a way to teach and nurture (not punish or show consequence). Know the difference between loving attention vs permissiveness or indulgence, and why you should spanking and time-outs;
• How the brain works/grows in children, the 3Cs of a child's brain, and the implications for child discipline and development;
• The principles, frameworks and tips for the Connect, then Redirect strategy, including: the Why-What-How approach, the H-A-L-T approach, 3 no-drama connection principles, 4 connection strategies, and 8 redirection strategies; and
• how to combine insight and empathy to develop mindsight in children.

Book summary at: https://readingraphics.com/book-summary-no-drama-discipline/ ( )
  AngelaLamHF | Jul 6, 2022 |
Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears without causing a scene. Selected Reading Questionnaire.
  ACRF | Aug 10, 2021 |
This book provides a helpful way to think about responding to children's behaviors.

All in all: it's a longer read than it needs to be and seems to over-promise, but the mindset to approaching parenting presented in the book is good.

In summary: When the child does something that grates,
1. Take a deep breath, or do what you can to calm yourself, so that you are responding rather than reacting.
2. Try to understand the child and connect: get down to their level and ask questions with a mindset of curiosity. Then comfort with that knowledge.
3. Respond in a way that respects the child and your own rules: strategize consequences with child, provide a 'yes, but' if possible instead of a 'no', etc
- Try to limit own talking
- You can wait until you're both in a place of calm and can think (doesn't have to be right away)
4. Allow your relationship to heal, and move on. Acknowledge if one of you (including parent) acted in a way that's not good for the relationship, family, etc. Forgive. Move on.

Most of the things raised I kind of knew, but there were some strategies that were either new or brought more to the forefront.

HOWEVER
1. The title is misleading. No Drama is referring to what the parent brings to the discipline, but most parents will come in hoping for that to be the result. So... misleading. There will still be drama, parent is just not adding to it. Mindful Discipline or Whole Brain Discipline or Discipline as Teaching would have been better titles.

2. As with many personal development books, it seemed overwrought.

3. I dislike the illustrations. I didn't like the style. They were big. They often didn't add to the information, and the emotional expression on the child when the parent does the 'right' discipline approach just annoyed me.

4. The authors say that the strategies won't always work and sometimes parents won't always do the strategies and all this is okay because it's the long game. So far, the strategies mostly have not worked for me. My child's kicking and hitting continues and I have not experienced the author's description of the child like melting into their emotion when connected. I'm not saying the approach isn't right or that long term, my children won't be calmed quicker, but so far in 2 months, I haven't seen much gain. Maybe I'm not good at connecting.

If I saw the strategies working most or at least half of the time, I think I'd appreciate this more. However, I don't. The strategies seem to work better for my husband; we think this is because he is more patient and is able to suppress/hide his feelings better. ( )
  kparr | Oct 31, 2019 |
This is a fantastic book; I would really like to adopt Siegel and Bryson's very well-informed and well-tested discipline philosophy. Their philosophy does seem to require more thought, creativity, and engagement with your child than the average parenting style. I think that my husband will be great at this, but I'm worried for myself about doing a good job with the creativity part.

The philosophy in a nutshell is that you first connect with your child--meaning that you have a discussion or a few words to help calm your child (and yourself) to bring them to a less reactive state so that you can teach them better when you get to the correction step. (these are the only two steps)

In correction, aka redirection, aka discipling (not a typo--they do talk about the relationship between discipleship and discipline even though it's not a religious book), you first think about what you want to teach your child, which may not be the same thing even for the same infraction from one time to another. One goal is to help your child develop empathy. Part of this will often involve discussing with your child what they can do to make things right.

Siegel and Bryson advocate being consistent but not rigid and helping your child develop emotional intelligence in the long run. They do talk about how to begin this process with toddlers who can't participate in the process in the same way an older child can.

We thought this book was really excellent. If any of you, my goodreads friends, read this book, I would love to hear your thoughts on the book, especially if you have older children than I do. We intend to read more of Siegel's parenting books in the future. ( )
  LauraBee00 | Mar 7, 2018 |
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Family & Relationships. Psychology. Nonfiction. HTML:NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • The pioneering experts behind The Whole-Brain Child and The Yes Brain tackle the ultimate parenting challenge: discipline.
 
“A lot of fascinating insights . . . an eye-opener worth reading.”—Parents
Highlighting the fascinating link between a child’s neurological development and the way a parent reacts to misbehavior, No-Drama Discipline provides an effective, compassionate road map for dealing with tantrums, tensions, and tears—without causing a scene.
 
Defining the true meaning of the “d” word (to instruct, not to shout or reprimand), the authors explain how to reach your child, redirect emotions, and turn a meltdown into an opportunity for growth. By doing so, the cycle of negative behavior (and punishment) is essentially brought to a halt, as problem solving becomes a win/win situation. Inside this sanity-saving guide you’ll discover
 
• strategies that help parents identify their own discipline philosophy—and master the best methods to communicate the lessons they are trying to impart
• facts on child brain development—and what kind of discipline is most appropriate and constructive at all ages and stages
• the way to calmly and lovingly connect with a child—no matter how extreme the behavior—while still setting clear and consistent limits
• tips for navigating your child through a tantrum to achieve insight, empathy, and repair
• twenty discipline mistakes even the best parents make—and how to stay focused on the principles of whole-brain parenting and discipline techniques
 
Complete with candid stories and playful illustrations that bring the authors’ suggestions to life, No-Drama Discipline shows you how to work with your child’s developing mind, peacefully resolve conflicts, and inspire happiness and strengthen resilience in everyone in the family.
Praise for No-Drama Discipline
 
“With lucid, engaging prose accompanied by cartoon illustrations, Siegel and Bryson help parents teach and communicate more effectively.”Publishers Weekly
“Wow! This book grabbed me from the very first page and did not let go.”—Lawrence J. Cohen, Ph.D., author of The Opposite of Worry.

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