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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As…
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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It (edição 2016)

por Chris Voss (Autor)

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8991517,916 (4.31)6
A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home. After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life. Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.… (mais)
Membro:jeffscollier
Título:Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
Autores:Chris Voss (Autor)
Informação:HarperBusiness (2016), Edition: 1, 288 pages
Colecções:Recommend, Read Again, A sua biblioteca
Avaliação:****1/2
Etiquetas:Nenhum(a)

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Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended on It por Chris Voss

  1. 00
    Getting to Yes : Negotiating Agreement without Giving In por Roger Fisher (supersidvicious)
    supersidvicious: Whilst the work of Fisher, Ury and Patton is the reference for collaborative decision making, Voss goes beyond win-win goal to explain how to sketch out negotiations to win all making at the same time your counterpart satisfied using emotional intelligence.… (mais)
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A must read for people not comfortable with conflict & negotiation !

Business books are generally filled with loads of theories which may never work in real world scenario most of the times. In most cases, the authors themselves wouldn't have tried those concepts they have framed in their books. Rarely, few books on business skills comes from experienced professionals in their field explaining tried and tested concepts that have worked wonders for them.

"Never split the difference" is one such gem of a book about negotiation skills, from Chriss Voss, who worked with FBI as a lead hostage negotiator. In this book, Chris has detailed simple, but effective negotiation skills that can be applied anywhere - be it across dinner table at home or during life saving negotiation with kidnapers.

Reading the book served as a big eye opening moment for me personally, as negotiation is one of those areas where I have tons to improve. Each skill that are explained in this book are also supported with loads of examples from real world situations - where either Chris or his clients have demonstrated the skills and have won big. This is what made the book as really interesting to read. Many events during Chris's hostage negotiation encounters with terrorists, bank robbers have also been detailed engrossingly. Overall, a highly recommended and worthy read ! ( )
  Karthikn | Feb 13, 2021 |
Learn how to negotiate, clear methods that could help you achieve your goals. ( )
  paven | Jan 26, 2021 |
Chris Voss, a former FBI hostage negotiator, offers a different approach to the art of negotiation in his book Never Split the Difference. Through his experience spanning 20 years Voss has realized that older methods for negotiation, relying more on facts and logic, run counter to human nature and how we, as humans, make decisions. He proposes that we embrace human nature and adopt strategies that feel counterintuitive by taking emotional intelligence, targeted empathy and active listening skills to the next level to become more persuasive in our daily interactions. This was a refreshing point of view and Voss's techniques have many applications to all sorts of interactions between people, not just negotiations.

Each chapter starts with a real negotiation scenario from Chris's past, be it hostage situations with lives on the line or a class setting for training, then follows it up with insights into what worked and what didn't during the situation. He even highlights a spectacular failure and why things went as wrong as it did. Each chapter builds upon the previous with pointers on how to use the skills in combination with each other or individually. Each chapter ends with a summary that are great to refer back to. My kindle tells me I highlighted 92 passages I found so many things I want to review and remember.

After reading the book I have been working on integrating some of Voss's advice into my every day life. I think it's slowly helping me improve my social skills and daily interactions with others. It's definitely a work in progress. I'll be rereading parts of this book often. ( )
  Narilka | Jan 23, 2021 |
Probably the best book on business negotiation that I've ever read. FBI hostage negotiator, but lessons largely applied to business (he runs a business negotiation consultancy now). The most interesting part is how the "Getting to Yes" early-1980s Harvard technique is pretty solidly defeated by a more modern behavioral (emotional) technique which can be implemented using some relatively straightforward rules and techniques. The most innovative part is his believe in "black swan" factors which can be uncovered through research (usually 3-5 per deal) which can produce quantum-superior results if known -- e.g. knowing that the counterparty has a pending debt they need to cover and thus must get cash quickly in a transaction, even at below full market value. There's probably a fair bit of opportunity to expand on this book in terms of information gathering/intelligence and various forms of questioning and searching for "tells" in the transaction, as well as extending the framework to ongoing business relationships vs. one-off negotiations.

(Incidentally, the use is rather dated in high-end hostage negotiation, at least in the post-9/11 world. If a terrorist group takes Americans hostage overseas, such as if the Dos Palmas kidnapping from 2001 happened again, they don't send in a split-command FBI-led negotiation team to talk them out with host nation tactical assistance; the only negotiation question is "which Delta team is on ready alert right now?". Interesting that pre-1970s, "tactical" solution was the way -- then various hostage negotiation was developed due to the weaknesses in that -- and then in the post-9/11 world, the new threat means a return to even-better tactical solutions instead.) ( )
  octal | Jan 1, 2021 |
The closing pages of Never Split the Difference sums up the overall 'why' of the book so elegantly that rather than attempt to summarize it I'm going to reproduce it here.

"Overcoming fear and learning to get what you want out of life.

"People generally fear conflict so they avoid useful arguments out of fear that the tone will escalate into personal attacks they cannot handle. People in close relationships often avoid making their own interests known and instead compromise across the board to avoid being perceived as greedy or self-interested. They fold, they grow bitter and they grow apart. We've all heard of marriages that ended in divorce and the couple never fought.

"Families are just an extreme version of all parts of humanity, from government to business. Except for a few naturals, everyone hates negotiation at first. Your hands sweat, your fight-or-flight kicks in, with a strong emphasis on flight, and your thoughts trip drunkenly over themselves. The natural first impulse for most of us is to chicken out, throw in the towel, run. The mere idea of tossing out an extreme anchor is traumatic.

"That's why whimp/win deals are the norm in the kitchen and in the boardroom. But stop and think about that. Are we really afraid of the guy across the table? I can promise you that, with very few exceptions, he's not going to reach across and slug you. No, our sweaty palms are just an expression of physiological fear, a few trigger-happy neurons firing because of something more base. Our innate human desire to get along with other members of the tribe. It's not the guy across the table who scares us, it's conflict itself.

"If this book accomplishes only one thing, I hope it gets you over that fear of conflict and encourages you to navigate it with empathy. If you're going to be great at anything—a great negotiator, a great manager, a great husband, a great wife—you're going to have to do that. You're going to have to ignore that little genie who's telling you to give up, to just get along, as well as that other genie who's telling you to lash out and yell. You're going to have to embrace regular, thoughtful conflict as the basis of effective negotiation and of life.

"Please remember that our emphasis throughout the book is that the adversary is the situation, and that the person you appear to be in conflict with is actually your partner. More than a little research has shown that genuine, honest conflict between people over their goals actually helps energize the problem-solving process in a collaborative way. Skilled negotiators have a talent for using conflict to keep the negotiation going without stumbling into personal battle. Remember, pushing hard for what you believe is not selfish. It is not bullying. It is not just helping you. Your amygdala, the part of the brain that processes fear will try to convince you to give up, to flee, because the other guy is right or you're being cruel. But if you are an honest, decent person looking for a reasonable outcome, you can ignore the amygdala.

"With the style of negotiation taught in the book, an information-obsessed, empathetic search for the best possible deal, you are trying to uncover value. Period. Not to strong-arm or to humiliate. When you ask calibrated questions, yes, you are leading your counterpart to your goals, but you are also leading them to examine and articulate what they want, and why, and how they can achieve it. You are demanding creativity of them and therefore pushing them toward a collaborative solution.

"When I bought my red 4Runner, no doubt I disappointed the salesman by giving him a smaller payday than he would've liked, but I helped him reach his quota and no doubt I paid more for the truck than the car lot paid Toyota. If all I wanted was to win, to humiliate, I would've stolen the thing.

"And so I'm going to leave you with one request: Whether it's in the office or around the family dinner table, don't avoid honest, clear conflict. It will get you the best car price, the higher salary and the largest donation. It will also save your marriage, your friendship and your family. One can only be an exceptional negotiator and a great person by both listening and speaking clearly and empathetically. By treating counterparts and oneself with dignity and respect. And most of all, by being honest about what one wants, and what one can and cannot do. Every negotiation, every conversation, every moment of life is a series of small conflicts that, managed well, can rise to creative beauty. Embrace them." ( )
  Daniel.Estes | Nov 3, 2020 |
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A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home. After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life. Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.

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