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It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited…
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It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We… (original 2016; edição 2016)

por Mark Wolynn (Autor)

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238688,675 (3.5)5
Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling- the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains-but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited-that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn't Start with Youbuilds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author ofThe Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn't Start with Youoffers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With Youis a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch. Praise for It Didn't Start with You… (mais)
Membro:InfiniteHW
Título:It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle
Autores:Mark Wolynn (Autor)
Informação:Penguin Life (2016), Edition: American First, 256 pages
Colecções:Family & Parenting, A sua biblioteca
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It Didn't Start with You: How Inherited Family Trauma Shapes Who We Are and How to End the Cycle por Mark Wolynn (2016)

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2.5 stars. Definitely Freudian. Freud and I have a difficult relationship because if you look at certain studies (not just stories) on attachment there are indications that he could be right sometimes. But I struggle because he typifies the writers, like Wolynn, that seemingly base their info on dramatic stories that they experience as they are treating their patients and less on broad, more comprehensive studies. Not that they can't both be right, I just prefer backup data.

And Wolynn has some. In the beginning the paragraphs are littered with scientific studies done on DNA and PTSD. But then it gets into some iffy sort of things. Trauma inherited from an Uncle? I inherited 0% of my DNA from my uncles (even though we share some). The trauma comes more likely observations the child made while observing parents. For example, I have a lot of anxiety about motorcycles that was learned while observing my mother react to three deaths of uncles/cousins who crashed while riding them. I remember watching her face when she got the phone calls and not really understanding what was going on.

A lot of the reviewers dislike this book because he advocates for reconnecting with the relative who may have caused the pain. None of the examples that I remember included instances of abuse, and, in retrospect, that bothers me. Sexual and physical abuse leaves horrific trauma that spans generations. And acknowledgement, at least, would have been a nice gesture.

However, to return to his formula for healing from non-abusive acts, reading between the lines, what I think he's really trying to say is that we need to forgive (which doesn't necessarily include retracting our boundaries). I'm not perfect at the forgiving bit but, the times when I have been able to let go of the anger, etc., have resulted in a tangible physical difference. I'm not really sure that he finds the best way to accomplish it(some of it seems like introducing crutches and there's really no criteria established to define "healing")... but it's a start.

Finally, I think he's right in a small way--- though I don't think this is last word in books about this topic. As I've pondered a certain subset of my family's struggle with certain attitudes, habits, and other biases, I've been drawn to what I do know about their family history and it is revealing. But there are also instances of miraculous* healing. There is a wonderful lady I know, about 72. And when she was a young mother her toddler died in a tragic, tragic accident(this was also pre-widely-used counseling). That woman is a rock, emotionally, mentally, and physically healthy. I'm sure it took time and faith, but she's the sort of person that I look to, when I want hope for healing.


* cause no other word describes it accurately ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
Some good info though over long - useful for family history. Was recommended by sarah Norquoy
  MiriamL | Jun 16, 2021 |
I really lost interest early in this book when the author started talking about how one of his clients who wanted to die and be vaporized was affected by their relatives who they didn't even know who were in the Holocaust. This sounds more like science fiction than reality to me. The premise of the book "that it didn't start with you." is true though. Many problems are generational in some sense along with the habits that keep things going
  Jeff_Simms | Jun 9, 2021 |
It's pretty irresponsible to write a book about trauma within families without even mentioning abusive parents or spouses. It's beyond irresponsible to tell readers they MUST reconcile with their parents in order to heal... But this, I suppose, is why abusive parents can't be acknowledged to exist. This book is pseudoscience riding to fame on the strength of using en vogue buzzwords which it doesn't understand and which don't apply. Dangerous reading for almost anyone who seeks this out. ( )
  nandiniseshadri | Jul 12, 2020 |
As an amateur genealogist, I have an interest in epigenetic trauma. I've read the studies the author cites, and hoped he would expand on them further. Unfortunately, the rest of the book reads like a 1990's self help book with no empirical evidence to support his personal brand of therapy, often stretching to make his points fit into the framework of epigenetics. If you want to read this book because you're interested in epigenetics, I wouldn't bother. If you're reading it because you're trying to find an answer to otherwise unresolved personal conflicts, I'm not going to say it won't work for anyone, but your time and money might be better spent elsewhere. ( )
  birthsister | Jan 27, 2020 |
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Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling- the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains-but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited-that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn't Start with Youbuilds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author ofThe Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn't Start with Youoffers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn't Start With Youis a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch. Praise for It Didn't Start with You

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