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The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best…
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The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work (edição 2017)

por Eli J Finkel (Autor)

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853314,699 (3.5)Nenhum(a)
"After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now..."--Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages--from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional--and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try "lovehacks." This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.… (mais)
Membro:marzagao
Título:The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work
Autores:Eli J Finkel (Autor)
Informação:Dutton (2017), 352 pages
Coleções:A sua biblioteca
Avaliação:
Etiquetas:to-read

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The All-or-Nothing Marriage: How the Best Marriages Work por Eli J. Finkel

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If you're married and I talk to you in the next 6 weeks, I will probably talk to you about this book. I really liked it (just ask the stars). It was pragmatic, scientific, personal, and positive, with just enough graphs, studies, personal anecdotes, and pop culture references to keep me on my toes. When I went back to finish it after being married for 3 months, I thought it was too late for me, because I was already trapped, but the truth is, this is a book for people who are trapped! Like any good counseling, it has tools you can apply at any stage of life, and the author even tiers these ones according to what stage a relationship is in. I think my favorite part was that it didn't focus on any typical marital issues (besides naming them for reference), but was oriented around tangible solutions. I also loved reading about the history of marriage in western civilization. It was helpful for me in understanding my own place in all of it. I am a sucker for an explainer-type, how-to book about social science, though. ( )
  graceandbenji | Sep 1, 2022 |
I would choose [a:John M Gottman|16393012|John M Gottman|https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/nophoto/user/u_50x66-632230dc9882b4352d753eedf9396530.png] over him for marriage counseling. In fact, I think he sees Gottman as a bit of a threat and tries too hard to differentiate himself from him. Can he really prove that his theories are better(the title claims the "BEST" so I feel like I can ask this)? Not really. Because Gottman has been doing this longer. There was a startling evasion of racial data as well-- especially given how much time he talked about class. And too much time was spent recounting historical views when a chapter would have sufficed. Editorially, it needed to be streamlined a bit more.

That said, he did have a lot of good things to say, particularly in chapter 9. And he is right. All relationships go through ups and downs(regarding needs being met). His story about PPD was fascinating. But I just feel like the OSO theory runs into questionable territory and has less scientific research backing it up. ( )
  OutOfTheBestBooks | Sep 24, 2021 |
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"After years of debate and inquiry, the key to a great marriage remained shrouded in mystery. Until now..."--Carol Dweck, author of Mindset: The New Psychology of Success Eli J. Finkel's insightful and ground-breaking investigation of marriage clearly shows that the best marriages today are better than the best marriages of earlier eras. Indeed, they are the best marriages the world has ever known. He presents his findings here for the first time in this lucid, inspiring guide to modern marital bliss. The All-or-Nothing Marriage reverse engineers fulfilling marriages--from the "traditional" to the utterly nontraditional--and shows how any marriage can be better. The primary function of marriage from 1620 to 1850 was food, shelter, and protection from violence; from 1850 to 1965, the purpose revolved around love and companionship. But today, a new kind of marriage has emerged, one oriented toward self-discover, self-esteem, and personal growth. Finkel combines cutting-edge scientific research with practical advice; he considers paths to better communication and responsiveness; he offers guidance on when to recalibrate our expectations; and he even introduces a set of must-try "lovehacks." This is a book for the newlywed to the empty nester, for those thinking about getting married or remarried, and for anyone looking for illuminating advice that will make a real difference to getting the most out of marriage today.

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