More like three and a half stars. I thought the story itself was a little weak, but the details of the lives that these women lead had me hooked. ( )

I want a laotong!

We follow Lily and her laotong, or "old same" (lifelong friendship match), from childhood through their adult, married, childbearing years.

The author was very detail-oriented when describing the culture, including footbinding (ouch!), wedding traditions, and the hierarchy of relationships within a family. I was quite impressed with how See managed to fit so much story into a relatively short (under 300 pages) book. There were several twists that I wasn't expecting, which is something I love in a book! I think this would make for great discussion at a book club.

Note: There is some sexual content in this book, which is why I just can't rate it higher than 4 stars. ( )

2.75 stars. there is so much that i liked about this but i also wished for more from it. my primary takeaway is all that i learned of living in china in the 1800s, in a smaller more rural town, and what it was like to be a woman then. i learned that before reading this book, as much as i'd heard about footbinding, that i had no idea at all how they did it, and how truly small the feet were manipulated (mutilated, really) to be. i remember thinking, in the past, that if they were really so small, that the women couldn't really walk or bear their weight, which wouldn't make sense, but apparently they lived their entire lives in a room in the home, so i guess they didn't need to walk much at all. but it wasn't just about the foot binding that this book teaches. it's so much about the women's community that they create. an entire secret language that women kept men from knowing for over a thousand years?? i love this. not this idea, but that this was real. that in the face of being considered worthless, that they came together in community, managed to build relationships that were real and true and that necessitated the invention of a secret language to perpetuate.

i was honestly less interested in the specific story of the book, especially as the main character was a bit hard to spend time with. her love for snow flower never seemed to cause her to look inside herself for how to best support her or be what she needed, which ended up being her downfall. (not that she suffered all that much, really only snow flower did. well, that's not true, but lily was protected from much more than the emotional distress in a way that snow flower never was.) i didn't like the way snow flower was treated at lily's hands, or the way lily was so often not being what snow flower needed. still, i loved the bond that the women all had, and learning about the communities and families and the way of life at this time.

i am curious about any queerness that might also exist in these women's communities and systems, as it was very vaguely (maybe) hinted at, but i might be reading into something that wasn't there.

i haven't read her before but look forward to reading more by her, for sure.

"They should be small, narrow, straight, pointed, and arched, yet still fragrant and soft in texture. Of these requirements, length is most important. Seven centimeters - about the length of a thumb - is the ideal. Shape comes next. A perfect foot should be shaped like the bud of a lotus. It should be full and round at the heel, come to a point at the front, with all weight borne by the big toe alone. This means that the toes and arch of the foot much be broken and bent under to meet the heel. Finally, the cleft formed by the forefoot and heel should be deep enough to hide a large cash piece perpendicularly within its folds. If I could attain all that, happiness would be my reward."

about the length of a thumb!!!!!!! ( )

I tried, but [[Lisa See]]'s [Snow Flower and the Secret Fan] is not for me. I couldn't bear reading about the torture of young children with the mistaken idea that it will make them more beautiful. Foot-binding - it sounds almost innocuous (I remember very well what I happily suffered when I took ballet) - but reading the details is absolutely horrendous. I know that there is more to See's book but there is no way I will ever find out what it was.

A well told story of frienship and hurt. I am constantly surprised and intrigued as I read of ancient asian cultural ways. ( )