The Orphanage of Gods has such a low Goodreads rating and I went into this book all like, “those must be overly critical! I bet it’s not that bad!” I embarked on my reading journey determined to find the sparkling diamond hidden beneath the façade. Despite my best effort, despite going into each part with a bright attitude of “this part will be better!” … I just can’t. I can’t give The Orphanage of Gods a shining review because it’s not an example of a good story, good writing, or good characters. The kindest thing I could possibly call it is “mediocre” and even that’s a stretch.

When the story begins, it’s night. Our protagonist – ridiculously named “Hero” – is hiding with her friend Joshua from the Guard. Hero gives us backstory and we learn she’s a half-god, her friend is a full-blooded extremely dangerous god, they’ve escaped the orphanage, and they’re going to rescue their friend who is a human but was taken as though she was a god. Concept, interesting. Result, nope. The story continues on with a lot of ordering around, world building through dialogue and flashbacks, and so many illogical choices it made my head spin. The characters escape things they shouldn’t, fall into action scenes that are so obviously constructed for fear of a lack of action. It’s just… no.

The Orphanage of Gods has three different POV characters (each gets a third of the book) and you absolutely can’t tell the difference between them except when they’re addressed in dialogue. Ten-year-old Raven, in particular, was a mess of a POV character. She’s in the book to be the “chosen one” but does nothing, is allowed to do nothing, and really… adds nothing? I’m not sure why Coggan chose to write in three separate POVs. The characters are so underdeveloped that if Coggan stuck to one POV, at least the reader may have gotten a deeper sense of the character.

Because I can’t close this review without saying this… … okay, these characters are kept until they’ve passed 18 years in an orphanage, then they’re cut to see what color their blood is. I just kept thinking… there are menstruating characters, right? Under this rule, their period would have given them away before they spent eighteen years in the orphanage. Not to mention things like bloody noses, accidental injuries, and fights. The central concept of this magical world is flawed.

There is so much “telling” in The Orphanage of Gods. The reader never experiences the world, not really. We learn about it through dialogue or through the POV character directly explaining things. Immersive writing is such a central lesson in penning fantasy, and I’m grateful that I rarely stumble across a book that does this so poorly. The writing style was strongly not for me, and better suited for maybe literary or speculative fiction.

I suppose I should give The Orphanage of the Gods a few points, though. It reminded me why low book ratings deserve red flags. Given four or so more drafts, this could have been an interesting fantasy. Instead, it screams of an underdeveloped story with interchangeable characters and amateur writing. Hard pass. ( )