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Honor Lost: Love and Death in Modern-Day Jordan

por Norma Khouri

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2941188,866 (3.24)12
I'd always believed that we'd spend our lives together...I never dreamed that my time with her would be cut short, or that my life would be a journey down this path, but I realize that she left me with a mission...I must find a way to make all Arab women's silent cries for justice and freedom heard around the world. Dalia was a young, beautiful Arabian Muslim living with her family in Amman, Jordan. At the age of twenty-five, she unexpectedly fell in love with Michael, a major in the Royal Army, and a Catholic. For a Muslim woman, any relationship with a Catholic man is forbidden, and Dalia was only too aware that flouting this rule could cost her her life. But they were deeply in love, and with the help of Dalia's lifelong friend, Norma, with whom she ran a hair salon, they went to extraordinary lengths to meet in secret. Dalia and Michael were only alone on a handful of occasions, and their relationship remained entirely chaste. Although they covered their tracks meticulously, one of Dalia's brothers became suspicious and she was suddenly gripped by the terrifying reality of what might happen to them all. Norma Khouri's book is a gift to the memory of her friend. In it she recounts a powerful love story that ends in an appalling tragedy, and also attempts to bring to the world's attention the continuing practice of honor killing in Jordan -- an ancient tradition that encourages the murder of women considered to have dishonored their families. It is a crime that effectively goes unpunished. Shocking and dramatic, Honor Lost will strike a chord with women everywhere and is a testimony to the courage and strength of women who are prepared to defy generations ofmale dominance.… (mais)
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Una desgarradora novela basada en hechos reales que refleja la difícil situación de la mujer en Jordania. Dos jovencitas deciden abrir una peluquería, contradiciendo el mandato de obediencia y sumisión que le exige su familia y la rígida sociedad. Para peor, una de ellas se enamora de un joven católico americano, de modo que tampoco aceptará un matrimonio impuesto por su padre.
  Natt90 | Nov 16, 2022 |
A shameful attempt to cash in a very real problem. Norma Khouri has been revealed to be a con-artist, and this book is a hoax. She has done untold harm to the women she claims she wants to help. Arab extremeists can hold her up as an example of the lies used by the west, and she has made them correct. ( )
  yeremenko | Jul 13, 2016 |
**I should preface my review by saying that the book was revealed to be fiction, despite what it says inside the book. I only found this out after reading it.

To be honest, I chose this book from a bookbox because it was set in Jordan, making it perfect for my Olympic Challenge.

Norma Khoura tells the story of Dalia, her best friend, who fell in love with a Catholic man, thus dishonouring her Muslim family.

Norma and Dalia grew up to be very close, despite their different religions. They ran a salon together, as a way to spend their time and earn money. One day at the salon, Dalia meets Michael, a young Catholic man and the two click. As the two try to see each other, they need the help of Norma and Michael's sister to cover up their clandestine meetings. Secret the meetings must be kept because even talking to a man not related to her can cost a Jordanian woman her life.

The book tells us of the danger in the everyday lives of Jordanian women, be they Catholic or Muslim. Their lives are held in the hands of their male relatives, who believe themselves to be the centre of the world. From entry into womanhood, at the age of ten, women are segregated, their social sphere sharply reduced, beholden to men to accompany them when they wish to leave the house. There seems to be no real love between the brothers and their sisters, rather the latter fear the former. Understandably so in a culture where an honour killing can receive, according to the book, as little as 3 months in prison, or even a suspended sentence.

Khouri makes great pains to point out that honour killing is not an Islamic practice, rather it is deeply rooted in Arab culture that predates both Christianity and Islam. Just as likely to take place in Jordan as in Palestine or Afghanistan.

Khouri gives an in-depth description of her life in Jordon, from the food they eat to the songs she loved. It is a rare glimpse into a country that is still rather unknown to many Westerners.

Having read that this book was revealed to be fictional does leave you wondering what, if any of the book is true. Certainly parts concur with other works I have read about the subject and region, but how much is the author's own spin, I don't know. For that reason, I can't give it a rating out of 5.
  soffitta1 | May 19, 2013 |

Originally billed as a memoir, now pretty conclusively revealed to be fiction. In a way I was glad to learn this, since the story contained puzzling discrepancies (for example, and glaringly, why would the families allow the young women to operate a unisex salon?). In addition, the story was told with such chick-lit bathos that I felt bad because I couldn't muster up sympathy for the women in this dreadful situation. I'm glad it turns out to be fiction, and not a regrettable failure of empathy on my part.

The plot, which can be summarized as "boy meets girl, girl dies" would be tragic if true, and is tragic in the greater sense that women are victims of honor (sic) killings in the world at large. Had this work been represented as fiction, I would comment on how this theme was expressed in the novel. Since it was represented as a memoir, however, I have the same bad feelings about Khouri that I do about James Frey. I think it's disgusting for writers to co-opt the horrific experiences that others have suffered and represent them as their own. or this reason, though I could count this novel for Jordan in my Books of the World Challenge (since Khouri was born in Jordan and lived there for for 2-3 years. However, I'd rather read a book by a writer who hasn't attempted to deceive me. ( )
  OshoOsho | Mar 30, 2013 |
This book is just one big fat lie.I'm sorry to see that some people still are so fame hungry that they tell one big lie after another, I'm in no means ever racist, but this evoked my anger so much that I have to clarify this:I'm a Muslim girl living in Jordan, this kinda stuff happens, but no more than few cases a year, we do not live in constant fear of being kill because we love, you cannot generalize the whole Jordanian community to be murderous just because some crazy person decides to kill his sister/daughter. A crazy (and I say crazy because in my opinion, any one who decides to kill another human being, no matter the reason, is just someone gone mad and lost his humanity) lost it and found the reason to excuse a kill.I'm saddened that a Jordanian woman, who didn't spend her live in Jordan, and not even Muslim, tries to attack a world she knows nothing about. We have enough accusations thrown our way every day without given reasons to have more lies encouraging more attacks.This books is in all means nothing close to the truth. And, the author claiming it to be the truth just makes it a piece of trash. ( )
  SarahZee | Nov 14, 2011 |
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My dear Dahlia, in your life you made me laugh and made me cry. You managed to touch my soul and become part of me forever, and in your death you've become my purpose for living. I write this book in loving memory of you, and I pray that God keeps you safe and happy until we meet again. Till then, ya gazallae, I know your spirit strengthens me, and your memory comforts me, and you will always remain a special part of my life.
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Jordan is a place where men in sand-coloured business suits hold call phones to one ear and, in the other, hear the whispers of harsh and ancient laws blowing in from the desert. It is a place where a worldly young queen argues eloquently on CNN for human rights, while a father in a middle-class suburb slits his daughter's throat for committing the most innocent breach of old Bedouin codes of honour.
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Forbidden Love was published under the title Honor Lost in the United States.
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I'd always believed that we'd spend our lives together...I never dreamed that my time with her would be cut short, or that my life would be a journey down this path, but I realize that she left me with a mission...I must find a way to make all Arab women's silent cries for justice and freedom heard around the world. Dalia was a young, beautiful Arabian Muslim living with her family in Amman, Jordan. At the age of twenty-five, she unexpectedly fell in love with Michael, a major in the Royal Army, and a Catholic. For a Muslim woman, any relationship with a Catholic man is forbidden, and Dalia was only too aware that flouting this rule could cost her her life. But they were deeply in love, and with the help of Dalia's lifelong friend, Norma, with whom she ran a hair salon, they went to extraordinary lengths to meet in secret. Dalia and Michael were only alone on a handful of occasions, and their relationship remained entirely chaste. Although they covered their tracks meticulously, one of Dalia's brothers became suspicious and she was suddenly gripped by the terrifying reality of what might happen to them all. Norma Khouri's book is a gift to the memory of her friend. In it she recounts a powerful love story that ends in an appalling tragedy, and also attempts to bring to the world's attention the continuing practice of honor killing in Jordan -- an ancient tradition that encourages the murder of women considered to have dishonored their families. It is a crime that effectively goes unpunished. Shocking and dramatic, Honor Lost will strike a chord with women everywhere and is a testimony to the courage and strength of women who are prepared to defy generations ofmale dominance.

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