An Unquiet Mind: A Memoir of Moods and Madness (original 1995; edição 1996)

"I am tired of hiding, tired of misspent and knotted energies, tired of the hypocrisy, and tired of acting as though I have something to hide. One is what one is, and the dishonesty of hiding behind a degree, or a title, or any manner and collection of words, is still exactly that: dishonest."

Unmatched. Kay Redfield Jamison wrote this memoir in the 1990s, about her experiences with mental illness. She studies mood disorders at Johns Hopkins, and realized while studying Bipolar disorder that she herself had manic-depressive symptoms. The fact that she simultaneously has both an academic and a personal understanding of the condition allows her to articulate the experience in a way that is, as I said, unmatched.

Finding good representation of mental illness in any sense is frustratingly difficult. Lately I've been trying to find ways to articulate my own experiences, and I don't know how in the world I can copy what Dr. Jamison did in this book but I want to find out. This is not only an exemplary piece of writing, it is a beacon to any neuro-typical readers that want to see what it's like.

My experience, or the experience of anybody with any mental health problems, does not need to be exactly like Dr. Jamison's in order for this book to be meaningful. It's mere existence, let alone it's success, let alone it's actual content and style, is all so overwhelmingly excellent. To hear depression described as the feeling of being "dull, boring, inadequate, thick brained, unlit, unresponsive, chill skinned, bloodless, and sparrow drab" is energizing in it's honesty. Mental disorders, especially those of the depressive sort, are so inherently isolating. It takes an excellent writer to convey the feeling that those who struggle with these things are not alone.

The book also easily grapples with the complex struggles of medication, self-doubt, and maintaining healthy connections with other people. It explores the fears of hospitalization, and the reason why so many suicide attempts "fail", and why we consider these attempts "failures" (we shouldn't).

All in all, fantastic book.

"He taught me that the road from suicide to life is cold and colder and colder still, but- with steely effort, the grace of God, and an inevitable break in the weather- that I could make it."

I know the quotes are getting out of hand, but I'm going to close with pretty much the entire epilogue because it's very important:

"I have often asked myself whether, given the choice, I would choose to have manic-depressive illness. If [medicine] were not available to me, or didn't work for me, the answer would be a simple no- and it would be an answer laced with terror. But [it does, so]... I would choose to have it. It's complicated. Depression is awful beyond words or sounds or images; I would not go through an extended one again. It bleeds relationships.... there is nothing good to be said for it except that it gives you the experience of how it must be to be old, to be old and sick, to be dying...

Others imply that they know what it is like to be depressed because they have gone through a divorce, lost a job, or broken up with someone. But these experiences carry with them feelings. Depression, instead, is flat, hollow, and unendurable. It is also tiresome... So why would I want anything to do with this illness? Because I honestly believe that as a result of it I have felt more things, more deeply... worn death "as close as dungarees", appreciated it-and life- more...

Depressed, I have crawled on my hands and knees in order to get across a room and have done it for month after month. But, normal or manic, I have run faster, thought faster, and loved faster than most I know... The countless hypomanias, and mania itself, all have brought into my life a different level of sensing and feeling and thinking. Even when I have been most psychotic- delusional, hallucinating, frenzied- I have been aware of finding new corners in my mind and heart. Some of thee corners were incredible and beautiful and took my breath away and made me feel as though I could die right then and the images would sustain me. Some of them were grotesque and ugly and I never wanted to know they were there or to see them again. But, always, there were those new corners and- when feeling my normal self, beholden for that self to medicine and love- I cannot imagine becoming jaded to life, because I know of those limitless corners, with their limitless views." ( )

An Unquiet Mind is a gripping account but Jamison's prose leaves a lot to be desired in terms of beauty or eloquence. Much of how she writes about her illness feels superficially descriptive and while there are some asides that are more moving it felt like a book that didn't want to ask too much of the reader with respect to really being dropped into her manic-depression.

Dr. Jamison is a clinical psychologist and professor at Johns Hopkins University. She also has struggled with bipolar disorder (otherwise known as manic-depression) for her entire life. Her topic of research and clinical expertise is bipolar disorder as well. Due to this rare combination of deep suffering and erudition, Dr. Jamison’s autobiography is of intense interest. She is able to view herself and her disease in an extraordinarily objective light. Thus, she can present her story in a helpful and enlightening manner for those affected by this form of mental illness.

Dr. Jamison traces her mental illness back to childhood, and she was always very intense. Throughout young adulthood, she cycled between times of intense mental energy and times of intense melancholia (depression). Despite knowing an obviously intense need of medication, it took her a long time to come to terms emotionally with the fact that she needed such a support. Like many who suffer from bipolar disorder, she aspired to an unrealistic goal of self-reliance and eschewed medicine.

Eventually, she capitulated to her need of drugs and took the mood stabilizer lithium. Sadly, lithium adversely affected her ability to read and to focus properly – an essential skill for a researcher and a clinician. Her disease also affected her love life as she chronicles in this book. She ended up most deeply loving men who understood and contributed to her medical condition.

This work circumspectly tells the tale of her growing up and succeeding in her career despite – and even because of – her disease. In the final chapter, She says that she would choose to have bipolar disorder instead of avoiding it if she had the choice. Her work is informative both as a memoir (as it relates to those suffering and affected by the disease) and as an educational piece (as she has started clinical centers focused on the disease). It is perhaps the most essential reading in the English language for anyone newly diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Sufferers can learn from her pitfalls, be wary of her difficulties, and be inspired by her strength. ( )

Beautiful book by a beautiful mind. I have had people with bipolar disorder in my life, and I believe that I understand their joys and sorrows a bit better after reading [b: An Unquiet Mind|361459|An Unquiet Mind A Memoir of Moods and Madness|Kay Redfield Jamison|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1350028748s/361459.jpg|1805379].

Jamison has apparently been very diligent about making sure her co-workers know about her manic-depression, so that her patients always come first, but as a professor at Johns Hopkins Hospital, it was still very courageous of her to come out about her struggles. [b: An Unquiet Mind|361459|An Unquiet Mind A Memoir of Moods and Madness|Kay Redfield Jamison|https://images.gr-assets.com/books/1350028748s/361459.jpg|1805379] is also notable for the poetry of Jamison's writing and for her insight into her condition,not just the brutal honesty of her memoir. ( )

In An Unquiet Mind, Kay Redfield Jamison changed the way we think about moods and madness.

Dr. Jamison is one of the foremost authorities on manic-depressive (bipolar) illness; she has also experienced it firsthand. For even while she was pursuing her career in academic medicine, Jamison found herself succumbing to the same exhilarating highs and catastrophic depressions that afflicted many of her patients, as her disorder launched her into ruinous spending sprees, episodes of violence, and an attempted suicide.

Here Jamison examines bipolar illness from the dual perspectives of the healer and the healed, revealing both its terrors and the cruel allure that at times prompted her to resist taking medication. An Unquiet Mind is a memoir of enormous candor, vividness, and wisdom—a deeply powerful book that has both transformed and saved lives.