Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (edição 2003)

Unflinchingly examines the methods of an abuser and the underlying causes to his behaviour. An indispensable resource for the abused and the wider community. ( )

This book should be required reading for everyone

I found this book very insightful. It perfectly describes the frustration involved when dealing with the multiple faces of manipulation. I highly recommend it for anyone who is suffering or has ever suffered, or who know someone who has suffered from abuse. It’s validating and informative and helps to scrub myths and wishful thinking from your mind. ( )

This was an amazing book! It made me rethink so many things. This is one of the first books that has said that I am not a co-dependent or in some way enabled the abuse to happen. In the introduction it said “Counseling men is difficult work. They are usually very reluctant to face up to the damage that they have been causing women, and often children as well, and hold tightly to their excuses and victim blaming.” I have felt that way often about my ex-husband, that it didn’t seem anything was helping him and he wasn’t taking any responsibility for HIS actions, but so many books put partial blame on me, that I enabled this behavior somehow. Near the end of the book where Bancroft is talking about abusive men changing he said “there are no shortcuts to change, no magical overnight transformations, no easy way outs. Change is difficult, uncomfortable work.” “The men who make significant progress in my program are the ones who know that their partners will definitely leave them unless they change, and the ones on probation who have a tough probation officer who that really demands they really confront their abusiveness.” I hope and pray my ex’s probation officer is tough, for my children’s sake because I have left and that wasn’t motivation enough. There were so many points made in this book that hit home with me, points that confirmed ways I already felt, and points that put words to things I had been unable to describe. I absolutely recommend this book to anyone that has been in an abusive relationship.
For more reviews see my blog: https://adventuresofabibliophile.blogspot.com ( )

Very through explanation of how abusers mind ticks. Eye-opening read that reveals also alarming things of american culture in general. ( )

Una gran ayuda para todas aquellas mujeres que sufren o han sufrido relaciones abusivas en sus vidas.
Ante una situación de abuso por parte del hombre, a muchas mujeres les puede resultar muy difícil darse cuenta de lo que realmente les está pasando, ya que suelen sentirse abrumadas, confusas y con mucho miedo. ¿Por qué se comporta así? es una gran guía que ayudará a las víctimas de abusos a detectar las señales de alerta, a conocer los distintos tipos de hombres abusivos y, por último, a desterrar los mitos que rodean el abuso.