I found this book enlightening as to what goes on between my own daughter and myself and how misunderstandings arise in conversations. We all tend to listen and speak according to our own realities, and this book, written by the linguist Deborah Tannen offers understanding as to our behaviors. Man examples are given, from hundreds of interviews done by Ms.Tannen in the course of her teaching students about conversations and from many people that she encountered in various ways. Ms. Tanner also tells of her reactions to her mother and her interpretation of conversations, and explains how females tend to lean toward the father, at times shutting out the mother without knowing about it or meaning to do so. This book would be an excellent to give to any family member, mother, daughter or friend, as it opens up ways to communicate and understand each other in a more loving way. None of us wake up each morning to hurt a mother or a daughter, but along the way, a spoken word can be taken the wrong way, and without information found in this book, a relationship can become estranged rather than closer as the individuals age. What one individual says in a comment can be taken the wrong way by the other, and only the mother-daughter relationship comes with such powerful ammunition to blast the relationship wide open. Good reading, and a great gift for any female that you care about. ( )

I enjoyed the ease of reading this book and it gave me much to think about regarding my relationship with my mother and why we don't always see eye to eye. I also think that there are ideas in this book that could apply to relationships with other women or sisters. ( )

This book was interesting, even fascinating.
I love reading about why people think and act the way they do, and Tannen has made some amazing discoveries about why mothers and daughters interact the way they do. She also has some helpful suggestions. I enjoyed this book and I learned some things as well. ( )

Relies a little too much on the daughter's point of view. ( )

Replete with examples, the author helps to identify common patterns in communication between mothers and daughters, the patterns that cause oh so much friction in daily communication. Those hot button topics? They're in here - weight, hair, clothes. Those conversations that start off bad and escalate - predictably - into an argument? They're in here too. It's difficult to read this book without seeing it through the veil of my own interactions with my mother, however the book also makes me appreciate my mother even more. It also gives me tools to defuse those hot button conversations, should I be so rational as to use them. Well worth reading if you're a daughter or a mother, or even if you're simply caught in the crossfire. ( )