Karen BenderCríticas

Excellent writing, but I found the stories a bit empty and inconsistent. Open ended endings are really not my thing. Once and awhile they're OK, but the vast majority of the endings simply leave the reader hanging. The hype on the book jacket made it sound like this was one of the best books of short stories ever put to paper. Although good, and I do recommend it, the hyperbole overshadowed the actual content.

Finished Choice: True Stories of Birth, Contraception, Infertility, Adoption, Single Parenthood, and Abortion. This is a collection of essays edited by Bender and de Gramont. Like most collections of essays, some are spectacular and some are just okay, hence, the 3 out of 5 rating.

I believe that this book should be read by anyone who cares about reproductive rights and politics, whether they are "pro-choice" or "pro-life". The most important lessons I learned from these essays are these: "choice" is about a lot more than choosing between getting an abortion or carrying a child to term, and reproductive choices are rarely made flippantly or "just for convenience". If nothing else, this book taught me that anyone who thinks that the issue of choice is easy and clearcut is unlikely to have read the stories of real women who have had to make reproductive choices. Abortion is not easy but neither is giving a child up for adoption or keeping it. Fertility treatments are expensive and emotionally exhausting. Being or using a surrogate mother has a social stigma that can ruin lives. And sometimes the choice to adopt is made possible only because some other woman was denied the chance to keep a child she wanted to love.

This is best illustrated with passages from some of the essays that affected me the most.

From "The Ballad of Bobbie Jo" by Jacquelyn Mitchard, discussing the woman who had chosen to be a surrogate mother for the author of the essay,

She carried out son, Atticus — conceived through in vitro fertilization at a clinic in our home state — to a healthy, full-term birth. She endured stinging criticism from friends and strangers, a cesarean birth, and a brutal legal judgment to proudly fulfill all her obligations to us — although fulfilling all her obligations to us cost her everything she thought was real and brought down criticism on all our heads.

Bobbie Jo chose to be a surrogate mother. When her husband, who had initially agreed, changed his mind part way through the pregnancy, he convinced the judge in their small southern town that Bobbie Jo was not fit to take care of her own two children.

From "If" by Susan Ito, the story of a mother who was forced to choose between her own life and that of her desperately wanted child,

"Baby needs at least two more weeks for viability. He's already too small, way too small. But you…" He looked at me sadly, shook his head. "You probably can't survive two weeks without having a stroke, seizures, worse." He meant I could die.

…

I signed the papers of consent, my hand moving numbly across the paper, my mind screaming, I do not consent. I do not, I do not.

In the evening, Weiss's associate entered with a tray, a syringe, and a nurse with mournful eyes.

"It's just going to be a be a sting," he said.

And it was: a small tingle, quick pricking bubbles under my navel and then a thing like a tiny drinking straw that went in and out with a barely audible pop. It was so fast. I thought, I love you, I love you, you must be hearing this, please hear me.

From "BEARING SORROW: A Birthmother's Reflections on Choice" by Janet Mason Ellerby, Ellerby was a pregnant teenager in the 60s. She was forced to give up her child for adoption, and this scarred her for life. This is just after she found out she was pregnant.

My body was not my own; perhaps it never had been. When it had escaped my parents control, Alec had immediately taken it up, and when he had abandoned it, a baby had claimed it. It may sound as if I am unwilling to take responsibility for my actions, but in fact, I did not completely understand that my body was my own dominion, that I could say what did and did not happen to it. In significant ways, women were not led to believe that they owned their bodies — the state, their husbands, or their fathers did. I willingly handed my body and my future back to my parents. Their money and authority took over, and I surrendered all bids at self-control I would not be allowed to make another decision for a long, long time.

I could go on. But the gist of all the essays is this: Reproduction and building a family is complicated, and the choices involved are not the clearcut, black and white, simple choices that advocates on both sides of the "choice" debate want you to think they are. Although we can debate which choices should be legal, what is certain is this: women need the freedom to make choices and the knowledge and support that will allow them to make the choices that are right for them.

I lovehate short story collections, because once you really get invested in one, it comes to a close quicker than you would like. A really good short story collection for me has to have stories that leave you wanting more yet also leave you a little sad after the final sentence. ⁣
The stories in this collection were a mix of bittersweet nostalgia, ruminations on one’s faith and daily life, and a dystopian arc that I’m still not fully over and wish would become a novel, because I crave more of the story and characters. ⁣
Each story had a unique ending, and you could tell that the author took time with her characters and cared about each one

I love the way Bender leads you calmly down a well-worn path with a flashlight, shines a light on the small, simple everyday then grabs your wrist while she takes you for a unexpected twist. Her stunning and subtle prose makes you curious; every story somehow slowly and thoughtfully blooms before you as though you have uncovered a gem as it first catches the light.

I love the way Bender leads you calmly down a well-worn path with a flashlight, shines a light on the small, simple everyday then grabs your wrist while she takes you for a unexpected twist. Her stunning and subtle prose makes you curious; every story somehow slowly and thoughtfully blooms before you as though you have uncovered a gem as it first catches the light.

Ms. Bender's prose immediately pulled me in. Her words are as comfortable as a soft, cozy sweater but it is a false sense of security for what is to be revealed about human nature in her short story collection.
The stories take place as far back as the 1970's and one even implies it takes place in the not too distant future. It seems what was, is and always will be.
Read this book and contemplate just what humans have done to each other over the past 50 years. It's thoroughly depressing. Each story implies characteristics which are uncomfortable to discuss. For instance, is it truly possible some humans exhibit pent up - senseless anger? Could it be Bender is saying we thrive when we hurt each other? Do we flaunt our righteousness only to be hypocrites at heart? Do we lack empathy?
It seems in the past half century, Bender is considering the world in which we live as one of distrust and fear of our species. We are lonely, we are struggling, we suffer from inner turmoil both imagined and real. We suffer loss, we lack empathy, good grief we are a mess!
The final story in this collection, "The Cell Phones", offers a bit of enlightenment and hope. It may all begin by just listening to the distress felt by our fellow humans.
An awesome collection of stories. Highly recommend!

"I wanted a nation in which our leaders never lied and were elected to office because of their love for and adherence to the truth. I wanted a nation where, if people got sick, they would be cared for, swiftly, tenderly, and the only concern would be that they would get well. I wanted a nation that did not conjure suspicion about entire groups of people...I wanted a nation where a person could go to school or shopping or wherever and never worry about whether it was smarter to dive under a chair or run"

“The world was still hot and despairing and full of pain, and I wasn’t a giant at all, but I wasn’t dust, either. I was trying to be a hopeful resident of the world. I stood with my fellow congregants in the room, feeling their presence beside me. We were all paying attention now, our minds unfastened. We looked to the new year...”

Wow, another great surprise. This story collection, from last year, eerily reflects our current state of affairs, taking hard looks at the senseless violence, relentless fear, bigotry and sexual harassment that have been choking our society, with a cold, unflagging fury. Many collections have hit or miss stories, I think this is what most readers expect and while every story here, may not hit for the fences, it is remarkably consistent. I also have to give a shout-out to “ The Department of Happiness and Reimbursement”, which just might be my favorite story that I have read this year. It blew me away.½

This book was a national book award finalist and she has just come out with a new book so I thought I would read this. The subject matter for the most part of these short stories revolved around money and all the attending issues. It mainly deals with women narrators who are struggling with family issues that revolve around their kids, money, work, bad marriages etc. Overall it is not a happy book but it was very creative and the writing was excellent. Because 2-3 of the stories did not work for me, I did not rate it higher. However if all of the stories had the quality of the best ones then I would have rated this a 5 star. Short stories are not for everyone because they tend to have no real conclusions in many cases. Because you can pick and choose the stories here, this is definitely a worthwhile read. I will check out her new book.½

A group of fictional stories which could be easily transported to the Twilight Zone. Very dystopian. Very pessimistic. Each searching for faith and hope. The endings are unique (avoiding spoiler alerts). The author was inventive and the stories held my interest, primarily from that. The last story was the best, only ten pages. The world can be cold and forbidding but I have picked another book with a sad, doomed sense. We all need more love, including authors!

The only word to describe this particular set of short stories is dour. They were all so similar in theme that is was difficult to infer anything new from one to the other, and generally unmemorable as a whole. I was left with a very bitter taste in my mouth and was happy to have arrived at the end.

I usually don't like litfic that's built around lots of feels and empty marriages and basically what feels like a lot of white middle-class MFA tropes. Bender actually had me into the stories, starting with the one with the executive producer of Anything for Money. That story was brutal and amazing, probably my favorite of the collection.

Overall, a set of exquisite little miniatures that challenged my usual boredom with this set of themes.

Achingly tender. A refreshingly frank story of a woman who is developmentally disabled and the family that loves her.

A wide variety of thought provoking short stories by a master of the genre. These are virtually twenty five page novels such is the depth of the characterizations and plot. The book's title story deals with a couple who are trying to sublet their New York dwelling space un fortunately during the period of 9-11. Others involve a game show where people were willing to do "Anything for the Money" and another is about a pair of sisters one of which has an impaired hand she must compensate for. I can certainly see why this book garnered all the acclaim that it did.

"Refund: Stories" compiles thirteen unique short stories centered around narrators who are struggling in some way, most often with financial difficulties and trying to make ends meet. Almost all the narrators, save one, are women who are unhappy with how their lives have turned out. Overall, I liked this book. I initially only read it to review for a blog, but it was an interesting read. Bender has a refreshingly honest perspective on how people really are in their daily lives and how they react to different challenges. I could see some people viewing this book as a bit pessimistic at times, but I find that the stories more often than not showed a real beauty in the human condition. My only real complaint is that I would've liked to see a bit more diversity among the narrators, as mentioned, they were mostly women, which is fine, but over half the stories were about white women who were married and had 1 or 2 kids.

This is an incredible collection of essays, all written by wildly different women with a vast array of experiences and yet there is a single voice that comes out of all the stories. A voice that not just asks but demands choice and help and hope when it comes to women's bodies and their lives. The raw honesty and emotional depth with which each woman tackled her story, her experience, her choices (or lack of) is astounding as is the humor and wit that is constant alongside of the horror and grief.

I loved the essay by the woman in her 50's who'd chosen not to have children, as a woman in her early 30's who is in the process of making that choice it is a great support. I believe this book is a must read for everyone, really, everyone.

Interesting premise. Adequate structure to hang the story on. Writing - uninspired - needed to be braver and go into each character's heart more deeply..

I am the mother of a 43 year old developmentally challenged daughter - in a group home Mon. - Friday. She has two younger sisters. I'm always interested in reading books (fact or fiction) on this topic because there are relatively few of us from way back then. Although I realize this book was set about a generation before I became a mother -- and yes, mothers really were often superficial, emotionally confused & vacant back then -- still it was very difficult for me to relate to Ella (the mother) andt to her relationship to her husband.

I did appreciate Lena's little world and her determination to stand her ground and do things her way. Her focus on taking the little children home, and her love of animals was sweet and true. Her shopping sprees were convincing, as was her general confusion at the beach and about her husband's absence. By the way, how could someone like Bob get a commercial driver's license!?

There were some very humourous and believable bits: the dance at the charm school, the dinner party was great. The grandchild Shelley was well depicted, as she gradually realized that she, not Aunt Lena, was the adult.

The ending was well done, which left me more caught up in this book than it really warrented.

Interesting, sometimes heart-wrenching short stories, fast read. Makes me happy to be a woman with choices, however hard they may be to make.

Excellent book! I'm not sure what more to say (Actually, that's a lie. I have plenty more to say but I could go on for days so I'll keep it simple here.) except that I think that all of the women chosen for this anthology did a really great job at clearly articulating what it means to be pro-choice and how important it is that people are given full autonomy over their lives.

As with any book I read with this type of subject matter, I appreciated the honesty with which these women spoke. A lot of the essays were very heart-wrenching and a few of them had me tearing up. The last time I found myself in an ongoing dejected state and was move to tears while reading a book was when I read The Girls Who Went Away by Ann Fessler, also an excellent book on reproductive choice.

I was very surprised by the fact that the writing for the majority of the essays was engaging, fluid, and beautiful. There really was not one I didn't like or whose writing style I couldn't get into. I found this book very hard to put down and honestly, I'm sad it's over. I would have loved to have read more.

My favorite essays were Bearing Sorrow: A Birthmother's Reflections on Choice by Janet Mason Ellerby, Personal Belongings by Kimi Faxon Hemingway, and A Complicated Privilege by Elizabeth Larsen.