Baek Sehee

There were definitely some little nuggets of interesting information in Baek Se Hee's work here, and a handful things I highlighted to revisit later. Some bits were just nice reminders, like this quote where Baek reminds herself, "I am someone who is completely unique in this world, someone I need to take care of for the rest of my life, and therefore someone I need to help take each step forwards, warmly and patiently, to allow to rest on some days and encourage on others".
I admire her for sharing her (sometimes dark and struggling) thoughts with readers; it's no easy thing to expose therapy session discussions and the ways one might be hurting, so I am appreciative for her giving this to readers.

However, aside from those little nuggets, this work became increasingly either difficult to read or just flat-out put me off of it at times. The formatting is erratic, especially near the end: the book begins as just chunks of back-and-forth dialogue between Baek and her therapist, and many pieces of their conversations seem very unnatural or sanitized. There is a stilted feel to the way their dialogue reads that makes it feel like a draft or as if large pieces are missing. Then near the end of the book there are dozens of little 1-3 page chapters of seemingly random thoughts/reflections from Baek that read like scribbles on a napkin that were never meant to be published.

But perhaps the most off-putting thing about this work as a whole is the therapist. They seem so vastly underqualified for their job, and I was shocked at some of the "advice" being given. At one point, Baek expresses a concern that she may be drinking too much and wants to stop, and the therapist simply says "Stop going out with friends who drink" and "Just tell yourself, 'I won't drink so much next time' and let it go" and "Learn to blame the alcohol a bit".
In another moment, Baek is talking about her anxiety in regards to forming relationships, and her therapist straight-up tells to to try and stop thinking about the future so much because "Your anxiety can become a burden to others." So much of what was being said by the therapist just seems like empty sentiments or downright harmful advice.
There are also a few instances of fatphobic comments/sentiments that were weird to encounter, and, again, the therapist had very odd reactions to them that didn't sit well with me.

I guess Baek benefitted from these sessions, and I don't want to be too harsh about someone's personal mental health journey, but I will say I can't see myself heartily recommending "I Want to Die but I Want to Eat Tteokbokki" to someone, especially if they are currently experiencing depression or struggling. I think this would be best in the hands of someone who is an okay headspace and can put some separation between themselves and the sometimes questionable content.… (mais)

This was a bit of a mixed bag for me. First of all, the book didn't seem to match the mood of the title, and there was no tteokbokki appearing in this picture. I did find many moments I enjoyed/appreciated in the first half of the book, which is basically an edited version of direct transcripts of the author's first year in therapy. In found the vulnerability and transparency refreshing the constant reminders that all of us are struggling, all of the time, even if your particular struggles do not match those here. I admire what the author intended to do with this book: to stand up and be open about these stigmatized issues (especially in Korea, I think), so that others could se that it wasn't only them.

The second half of the book did not work for me, however. A series of very short essays that are reflections on life following therapy. Each essay is so short and so restricted to a single topic, I found myself skimming them just to finish the book. I wish they had been either interspersed with the therapy notes or combined into longer, more connected essays. Their in betweenness didn't do anything for me.… (mais)

i didn't enjoy this as much as i hoped i would.. but i should emphasize my thankfulness to the author, for writing this book. i can only imagine how difficult it was to publish this book, but i think the courage in her words and story really hit home with a lot of people. this is a very special memoir. it's vulnerable and candid. the transcripts, having been directly translated, are tender and relatable, inviting readers into uncomfortable but deeply important discussions and moments. there are pockets of the therapist’s advice that we can all learn from and adopt in our everyday lives. but the essays were my favorite part! the writing flowed beautifully. it read like a stream of consciousness, with a journal like quality, but also contained insightful elements… (mais)

Ik wil dood maar eerst een bord tteokbokki. Door: Baek Se-hee.

Oh wat een boeiend boek. Ik ben zelf in therapie en heb daardoor een boontje voor boeken die over therapie gaan. Ik las al verhalen van mensen die in therapie zijn maar ook verhalen uit de praktijk van een therapeut én het verslag van een psycholoog die zelf in behandeling ging.

Dit boek is nog origineler: hierin staan letterlijke transcripten van therapiesessies. Baek Se-hee heeft zo veel last van een soort van depressieve gevoelens dat ze beslist om in therapie te gaan. Als ze onzeker is (op haar werk, aan de telefoon, …) neemt ze de gesprekken die ze voert op. Om ze achteraf te analyseren, haar stem te controleren en (onnodig) zichzelf voor het hoofd te slaan. Vandaar dat ze haar sessies met haar therapeut opneemt en voor ons uitschrijft.

Ik begrijp waarom dit boek een Koreaanse bestseller is. Ik herkende veel, wat me een fijn ‘ik ben niet alleen gevoel’ gaf. En ik leerde ook heel wat bij, door de antwoorden van de therapeut en door Baek’s analyses van zichzelf. Ze schrijft heel vlot en meeslepend. Dit boek is helemaal van nu. Jammer genoeg worstelen er veel mensen met zichzelf en de wereld om hen heen.

Super aanrader voor iedereen die het wel eens moeilijk heeft. En ook niet onbelangrijk: de cover is zo mooi.… (mais)