It's every woman's nightmare to lose a child. One second, one glimpse, and your child is gone forever. The aftermath is like an out of body experience, the weight of their death on your shoulders. Not to mention the media attention and the trial while you are grieving, attempting to keep it all together. It's unfathomable. You looked away for a split second and didn't see the stop sign. It wasn't like you were texting! You were looking at your GPS, trying to find a house on a heavily wooded street, headed to a playdate, and suddenly the nightmare that you never dared to dream has become a reality. In an instant you've lost everything in your life that matters.

It's been five years since that fateful day, the day that she lost her five-year-old daughter Lily, and Mackenzie Cooper has pieced together a life that looks nothing like the life she had before. The only reminders are her mugshot, which she keeps taped to the medicine cabinet in her bathroom, and the faded red scar on her forehead that she constantly keeps covered on her forehead. She is a makeup artist at The Devon Inn and Spa in Devon, Vermont, which isn't far off from her previous career as a well-known sculptor. Devon is the perfect place for Mackenzie, who now goes by Maggie Reid, to start a new life with no questions asked. It is a quiet life she leads, just her and her animals, no husband, and no children; a place where she can keep it together and control her environment. Or so she thought.

Grace Emory works as a masseuse at the spa with Maggie. Grace's son Chris is arrested for hacking Twitter accounts of some of the biggest names in New York and the FBI has been trying to crack the case for awhile. Internet crime is a federal offense and these "big names" are looking for justice. In an instant, Mackenzie is once again thrust into the spotlight, standing by her friend, as the media storm opens secret pasts and relationships that no one expects.

All in all, I enjoyed Before and Again. The first chapter has you immediately hooked as you first wonder what happened to Lily and, once you find out the truth, wondering how a mother and father deals with such an incredible tragedy. The book is very well written, with little twists and turns, and secrets here and there, which keep the reader interested. The ending was a little predictable but I really love how the writer left us with hope for these characters. The character development is wonderful and by the end you feel like you are reading about one of your friends, longing to see that happy ending.

I had few complaints with this novel. One was the cursing, which was unnecessary in many of the places in my opinion, and really took a lot away from the story itself for me personally. I also thought there were spots that were too drawn out but when you look at it in the scheme of a grieving mother it makes a lot of sense, and in that respect more forgivable.

Other than that Before and Again is a tale that once you finish will have you hugging your children tighter, feeling thankful for your family, and never taking even the slightest moment for granted. ( )

I'm a big fan of Barbara Delinsky's books and this was one of her best in my opinion. For such a long book, it was fast reading and I enjoyed every page of it.

The characters were well-developed and likable. Maggie (aka Mackenzie) moved after her daughter was killed in an accident when she was 5 when Maggie (then Mackenzie) took her eyes off the road and ran a stop sign covered by leaves of a tree branch. She's always blamed herself of course. She leaves her marriage with Edward and moves to Devon, VT to start another life under a new name. She finds solace in doing make-up at the Spa and makes new friends and a new life. In comes her ex-Edward (using a new name too of Ned) who buys the Inn.

Maggie is on probation from the accident from 4 years ago so she really wants to help one of her best friends who also works at the spa. Her son was accused of hacking computers, including the one at the Inn. Her probation officer tells her to get out of the spotlight but she doesn't do so because of Grace and takes a risk of her picture being everywhere including People magazine.

To make a long story short (the book was almost 600 pages long), Edward falls back in love with her and she him. She's been estranged from her mother too and that gets resolved too. ( )

Before and Again by Barbara Delinsky

St Martin’s Press
Women’s fiction, digital ARC
June 2018

Thank you to St Martin’s Press/NetGalley for the opportunity to read and review this digital ARC.

Sometimes life leads in directions that can’t be predicted. This was certainly true for Mackenzie Cooper, a dedicated mother, wife and sculptor. When she is held responsible for a fatal car accident which kills her young daughter, Mackenzie’s life is forever. The accident destroyed her self esteem, her career, her marriage and relationships with family and friends. changed. Unable to forgive herself and the the aftermath that follows, she moves to Vermont to reinvent herself.

In Vermont, Maggie Reid is able to live a simple life in Devon where the residents all seem to have their own reasons for moving to this quaint town. Trying to maintain a low profile until her probation is complete is a mandatory requirement. Michael Shanahan, her probation officer, makes frequent visits to ensure she maintains compliance. She manages to keep her past a secret working as a makeup artist at an upscale spa. The spa becomes a refuge for the broken hearted who work through their grieve working at the spa. Maggie forms many close relationships which don’t require reliving the past.

Maggie befriends Grace who has moved there as a massage therapist with her teenage son, Chris who is eventually accused of a major hacking incident. This brings a media spotlight that slowly unravels a town which values their privacy. It seems Maggie is not the only resident with a past she’d rather forget. Risking her own probation, Maggie continues to support her friend while trying to avoid the media attention.

This novel explores how it’s possible to find redemption and reconciliation with the past. Before one can truly move forward it is important to reconcile with the past, again. This necessary experience can allow healing and resolution of guilt which ultimately prevents living one’s best life.

Another brilliant novel by a beloved author with complex characters and rich storyline. ( )

Books starts with something we have all done, using a driving app to find where we are going. The unthinkable happens. Every parents nightmare, and the consequences that go with it. Can we reinvent ourselves? Will the past catch up? An you be a friend without putting yourself out there? Will you expose yourself, and give up your secret, for a friend? Can you forgive..yourself, your family?

Beautifully written, appropriately titled and well researched. A definite page turner perfect for summer reading. A story about grief, decisions, family .. those by birth and the ones we choose, and always, love. If you are a fan of Ms. Delinsky, or this is your first, you won’t be disappointed.

Thanks to St. Martin’s Press and NetGalley for this ARC. All opinions are my own. ( )

I didn't care for the main character...Mackenzie...from the beginning. She was unsympathetic and uncaring and unbelievable. I did like her pets. Jonah, her dog, and the two black kittens. Maybe the book should have been more about them. ( )