This Japanese novel was originally published in 1972, but many aspects felt very much from today. The novel follows Akiko a middle-aged wife and mother whose father-in-law becomes senile and his care falls to Akiko. So many themes here--taking care of the elderly, quality of life and indignities in aging, the sandwich generation, how care responsibility often falls on women, and the bewilderment of the system of elder care. I would be reading along in this novel and would learn a bit about Japanese culture in he 20th century only to then be struck by Akiko's story and how familiar it felt to the experience here in the US in the 21st century.

This wasn't exactly a feel-good novel. In fact, it dredged up a whole lot of feelings and made want to give my brother a hug for all he does for our mother in Southern California every day. And this book also made me re-experience that year of bewilderment and pain our family had when Mom fell ill and we had to make the decision to put her in a senior home. A piece of advice--get your parent a good geriatric attorney to help you sort everything out. I'll be visiting her here in just a few weeks. For years, I called my Mom every single day but she is at that point now where she can't call me anymore, and if I talk to her on the phone she won't stay on for long. This summer I visited I had the opportunity to sit with her for a couple of hours, and it was the first time in a long time that we seemed to have a real conversation like we did for so many years. I miss my Mom. And I take a little comfort from some scenes with Akiko that sometimes you just need to hold on to these small moments--one where she finds her father-in-law looking at a beautiful magnolia blossom or the small joy he gets from watching a bird they buy him. ( )

This novel is by one of Japan's leading women writers. It was translated by Mildred Tahara. The author focus is on social problems and in this book she addresses the problem of caring for the elderly in a modern society. The story is of the Tachibana family. They live in Tokyo and both work out of the home. His parents live next door. Everything changes for Akiko when her mother-in-law suddenly dies. In the first few pages the reader is introduced to a Japanese wake. Akiko is the only one her father-in-law will respond to in his senility. Akiko is desperate but also a strong woman as she responds to nights without sleep and days of caring for her elderly father-in-law. She finds very little support in her community and even in her own family. The Tachibana family face the fear of their own aging as they care for the father. ( )

This novel is a slow, careful telling of how one Japanese family deals with an aging family member, Shigezo. I was interested in the reactions of closest family members - Akiko (the daughter-in-law and primary caregiver), Nabutoshi (the son), and Satoshi (the grandson) - to Shigezo's increasing senility and loss of bodily functions. Maybe I found it intriguing because I'm a nurse? As I was reading, I did note the differences of care-giving and involvement in this example within the Japanese culture as opposed to how I perceive the same family situation would have played out in my own country, the United States.

There are two apt quotes about aging in this novel that I want to share:

1. “I really hate the (senior) Centre. All I see there are old people.”

My dad refused to participate in "senior" activities when he was in his sixties because he also had that perception. It's funny how people see "age" over "individuals".

2. "It suddenly occurred to her that perhaps it was because the elderly were not needed that their situation was so pathetic."

The latter quote hit me unusually hard because it was during my reading of this book that I myself was laid off from my employment (at age 66) and forced into sudden and unexpected retirement. What irony!

Nevertheless, for those who love learning about social issues, other cultures, and do not mind the absence of high drama in a novel, this book is quite beautiful and worth the read. ( )

Akiko's life is busy. This Japanese woman works full time outside of the home and cares for her husband, her high school son and her in laws who live in a small cottage adjacent to her house. But her life really gets crazy when her mother-in-law suddenly dies of a heart attack. Now Akiko takes on the task of preparing meals, laundry and daily chores for her father-in-law, Shigezo. What quickly becomes apparent after her mother-in-law's death is that Shigezo suffers from dementia and not only is prone to wandering the streets but also needs help dressing and daily hygiene. Akiko struggles with the conflict of maintaining her role as a modern Japanese working woman and the traditional expectations of keeping home for her family and in-laws.

This story hit very close to home for me. My parents are elderly and finding care for them is not only a logistics nightmare, but a subliminal source of guilt. Shouldn't I take on the role of dutiful daughter and care for them? I could empathize with Akiko's life that becomes an endless day as a caregiver. But the biggest gem for me was how Akiko finally comes to terms in her relationship with her father-in-law. Beautiful story and very touching. ( )

Tokio, begin jaren '70, de jaren van overvloed en van grote maatschappelijke veranderingen. Door de ogen van de werkende moeder Akiko maken we kennis met een nieuwe problematiek: die van de dementie bij de almaar ouder wordende Japanse bevolking. De schrijfstijl van Ariyoshi is nogal zuinigjes, droog-beschrijvend, en er zit ook een pak feitelijke informatie over oud worden en dementie verpakt in het verhaal. Maar vergis je niet: dit is een aangrijpend verhaal van een vrouw die na de dood van haar schoonmoeder geconfronteerd wordt met de belastende zorg voor haar seniele schoonvader van 84, die haar haar hele leven lang alleen maar afgesnauwd heeft. Akiko worstelt en zorgt en wordt almaar wanhopiger, maar uiteindelijk vindt ze vrede en zelfs geluk in haar engagement. Om haar heen stuit ze alleen maar op een gebrek aan fijngevoeligheid en onmacht (vooral de mannen geven blijk van een zeer grote mate van sulligheid), en bij zichzelf groeien de vragen over hoe ze zelf oud zal worden, maar uiteindelijk weet ze zich daar boven te zetten. Mooi. ( )