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Spousonomics: Using Economics to Master Love, Marriage, and Dirty Dishes

por Paula Szuchman, Jenny Anderson

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15813172,883 (3.59)7
Family & Relationships. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:

Are you happy in your marriage--except for those weekly spats over who empties the dishwasher more often? Not a single complaint--unless you count the fact that you haven't had sex since the Bush administration? Prepared to be there in sickness and in health--so long as it doesn't mean compromising? Be honest: Ever lay awake thinking how much more fun married life used to be?

If you're a member of the human race, then the answer is probably "yes" to all of the above. Marriage is a mysterious, often irrational business. Making it work till death do you part--or just till the end of the week--isn't always easy. And no one ever handed you a user's manual.

Until now. With Spousonomics, Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson offer something new: a clear-eyed, rational route to demystifying your disagreements and improving your relationship. The key, they propose, is to think like an economist.

That's right: an economist.

Economics is the study of resource allocation, after all. How do we--as partners in a society, a business, or a marriage--spend our limited time, money, and energy? And how do we allocate these resources most efficiently? Spousonomics answers these questions by taking classic economic concepts and applying them to the domestic front. For example:

  • Arguing all night isn't a sign of a communication breakdown; you're just extremely loss-averse--and by refusing to give an inch, you're risking even greater losses.
  • Stay late at the office, or come home for dinner? Be honest about your mother-in-law, or keep your mouth shut and smile? Let the cost-benefit analysis make the call.
  • Getting your spouse to clean the gutters isn't a matter of nagging or guilt-tripping; it's a question of finding the right incentives.
  • Being "too busy" to exercise or forgetting your anniversary (again): your overtaxed memory and hectic schedule aren't to blame--moral hazard is.
  • And when it comes to having more sex: merely a question of supply and demand!

    Spousonomics cuts through the noise of emotions, egos, and tired relationship clichés. Here, at last, is a smart, funny, refreshingly realistic, and deeply researched book that brings us one giant leap closer to solving the age-old riddle of a happy, healthy marriage.

    From the Hardcover edition.
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» Ver também 7 menções

Mostrando 1-5 de 11 (seguinte | mostrar todos)
Not very scientific, but full of entertaining stories about couples and their relationship issues being analyzed using principles of economics and game theory. Doubtful that their results can be reproduced but nevertheless a fun read - if you're into that sort of thing. ( )
  yaj70 | Jan 22, 2024 |
This is a clever analysis of relationships based on concepts from economic theory like comparative advantage, signaling and game theory. The authors seem to have surveyed dozens of couples - enough to come up with relationships arrangements that push the extremes of what most people would be willing to share. The economic principles are made relevant by real people, plus the authors take an occasional turn at expounding on the original economists and their approaches to relationships. ( )
  jpsnow | Nov 17, 2019 |
Get two women together. One wants to write a book about economics and the other a book about marriage. The result is this curious arrangement. While it does contain some good tips here and there, I felt overall that some of the advice was a bit idealistic.

Each chapter is focussed on a different aspect of economic theory (bit yawny) and, using well-illustrated real-life example of marital issues, they then apply this theory to demonstrate how it can help to solve issues that couples run into. While some of this may well work for some couples, as I said, I thought some of the application was a bit idealistic. We are after all living, changing beings. Solutions that might work at one point in our marriage, may well cause problems at others.

Even worse, and this is where the book really falls down for me, we’re not rational rule-bound objects like pounds and pence. We’re anything but, especially at a time of conflict in a close relationship like marriage. For all sorts of reasons, we behave in ways that do not make sense economically because, when push comes to shove, it isn’t economy we’re motivated by. And when you’re in the deep end and thrashing to get out, someone explaining the technical theory of breast stroke from the side of the pool is only going to make you feel worse.

What I thought this book lacked was any admission that we are broken beings and always will be. There will always be conflict, within ourselves, with our spouses, with the world in general. The book didn’t seem to say to me, try this and, if it doesn’t work, know that you are in company. That makes sense. I mean, you don’t sell books by admitting that the advice your giving probably won’t work in most cases. But without the empathy such an admission brings, I felt the book was clinical and a bit cold. Dare I say ivory tower?

So, in the end, although it was an interesting idea, I felt that the book was a bit too simplistic. We can all attempt to follow patterns of behaviour that, ideally, will solve everything. In reality though, things don’t usually work out that way. At least that’s my reality. Habits are hard to break and even harder to form. At best I think this book will provide an idea or two for couples to try out and, if it works, good luck to ‘em. At worst, I think this could set some couples up for a fall as they take ideal solutions and apply them to less than ideal realities. ( )
  arukiyomi | Jul 20, 2012 |
I really like this, it makes sense to me. It offers real solutions to day-to-day issues. I think this book could be helpful to most marriages, no marriage is perfect, they all take work. None of the ideas are complicated and they use examples of actual couples to explain each concept. The focus is on marriage, but some of the techniques could be helpful in relationships with other family members.

I copied this review from goodreads, I won this advance uncorrected proof proof through the first reads program. I am glad I won this, I probably wouldn't have read it otherwise. I do wish I could see the cover better, mine is plain. ( )
  debsanswers | Nov 9, 2011 |
A great read for any married couple. The authors take case studies with honest answers from a variety of couples and they apply economic principles to their problems. They manage to do it with humor and make the potentially boring subject incredibly entertaining and relatable.

I’m not big on self-help books, marriage books, etc. They just never seem to interest me enough to read the whole thing, but I couldn’t put this one down. Think about it as Freakonomics for marriage. I loved hearing about the issues couples were dealing with. Some were ones I could relate to, others weren’t, but all of them were interesting. ( )
  bookworm12 | Oct 4, 2011 |
Mostrando 1-5 de 11 (seguinte | mostrar todos)
During a heated argument with your spouse, do general marketing concepts come to mind as a way of reaching a compromise? No? Spousonomics is a witty book that suggests that using economic principles is exactly what we need to resolve our relationship conflicts. By following business-oriented steps, each side would be able to see things from a fresh perspective; thus redefining 'winning' the argument.

After authors Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson were struck with the idea that economics could be used for something other than academia and work, they got down to nation-wide surveys and research, and spent their time delving through economic books to break down concepts like trade-offs, division of labour, and loss aversion, and build them up again to apply to real-life marriage problems.

Each one of the ten chapters tackles one concept, providing a case study of a married couple who had faced a problem and what they did or should have done to solve it. The book is written in a way that is both thought-provoking and funny, though it mainly discusses economic topics. It’s interesting that these economic theories are actually enjoyable to read when applied to real life with relevant explanations.

While comparing marriage to business doesn’t sound very romantic, it helps putting problems into a practical perspective. By balancing the costs and benefits of each argument, a couple is more likely to reach a solution that will satisfy both sides and thus make it easier to achieve peace of mind and a happy home. However, it is admittedly hard work, and the book doesn’t omit the fact that it takes training to get used to solving problems that way.

Thankfully, Spousonomics focuses more on life examples with explicit humour than economic jargon. Better yet, it’s a change from most relationship books that only drag out the typical advice of keeping a journal. Usually perceived as one of the causes of marital problems, this book proves that economics can be part of the solution as well.
 

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Family & Relationships. Self-Improvement. Nonfiction. HTML:

Are you happy in your marriage--except for those weekly spats over who empties the dishwasher more often? Not a single complaint--unless you count the fact that you haven't had sex since the Bush administration? Prepared to be there in sickness and in health--so long as it doesn't mean compromising? Be honest: Ever lay awake thinking how much more fun married life used to be?

If you're a member of the human race, then the answer is probably "yes" to all of the above. Marriage is a mysterious, often irrational business. Making it work till death do you part--or just till the end of the week--isn't always easy. And no one ever handed you a user's manual.

Until now. With Spousonomics, Paula Szuchman and Jenny Anderson offer something new: a clear-eyed, rational route to demystifying your disagreements and improving your relationship. The key, they propose, is to think like an economist.

That's right: an economist.

Economics is the study of resource allocation, after all. How do we--as partners in a society, a business, or a marriage--spend our limited time, money, and energy? And how do we allocate these resources most efficiently? Spousonomics answers these questions by taking classic economic concepts and applying them to the domestic front. For example:

Arguing all night isn't a sign of a communication breakdown; you're just extremely loss-averse--and by refusing to give an inch, you're risking even greater losses.
Stay late at the office, or come home for dinner? Be honest about your mother-in-law, or keep your mouth shut and smile? Let the cost-benefit analysis make the call.
Getting your spouse to clean the gutters isn't a matter of nagging or guilt-tripping; it's a question of finding the right incentives.
Being "too busy" to exercise or forgetting your anniversary (again): your overtaxed memory and hectic schedule aren't to blame--moral hazard is.
And when it comes to having more sex: merely a question of supply and demand!

Spousonomics cuts through the noise of emotions, egos, and tired relationship clichés. Here, at last, is a smart, funny, refreshingly realistic, and deeply researched book that brings us one giant leap closer to solving the age-old riddle of a happy, healthy marriage.

From the Hardcover edition.

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