For twenty-one major league seasons, Durwood Merrill has been one of the most colorful characters in baseball. Part John Wayne, part Will Rogers, part Elmer Gantry, this performer has made baseball his stage since he broke into the major leagues in 1976. Like on Luciano in his best-seller, The Umpire Strikes Back, Durwood will share more than two decades of laugh-out loud anecdotes, controversial opinions, and sage advice. He'll make calls on: Managers: From Lou Pinella to Earl Weaver to Joe Torre, Durwood related tales of his often explosive relationships with top managers of yesterday and today, and the vicious and often hilarious barbs they trade during on-field tirades. The Setting Behind the Diamond: Durwood opens the door on baseball's most private places, from the clubhouse to the umpire's room to conferences at the mound and the banter at the plate. America's Pastime: Durwood offers up his sage advice and controversial opinion on how to get fans back to the ballpark--including how to speed up the games--and insight into the current labor issues. The Players: From Reggie Jackson to Ken Griffey Jr., Durwood rates all the top players he's seen in his career. But You're Out and You're Ugly, Too! is also the warm and wholesome story of a man who loved baseball and decided to give up his job as principal of a small Texas high school and follow his dream of becoming a major league umpire. Durwood shares all of his experiences as he journeys through umpire school, the minor leagues, Puerto Rico, and into the majors. No one has been closer to American League players and managers than Durwood Merrill. He has a keen sense of what makes baseball work, and no one can lay claim to a better perspective on America's pastime--and the politics that control it. Durwood has witnessed most of the key moments in modern baseball history--from players' strikes to free agency to wild pennant races--and he's going to share all of his thoughts on these issues and more. So take your seat behind home plate and watch as baseball's most outrageous umpire rips the cover off the ball.